mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Uncategorized, Write

Why People Bully: A Choice Without An Option

It should be talked about more & I have decided to use my writing voice for the good.

There are different reasons why people bully, including:

  • wanting to dominate others and improve their social status
  • having low self-esteem
  • having a lack of remorse or failing to recognise their behaviour as a problem
  • feeling angry or frustrated
  • struggling socially
  • being the victim of bullying themselves

Source: Health Direct


These are all psychological reasons because of which, people ruin other people, psychologically! How can we let science justify that? This can be debatable, that people suffering themselves make others suffer? Yet, I don’t see anything debatable in that sentence! I have heard so many stories where people who got bullied, suffered from a mental illness, throughout their lives because of it. Yet, they never bullied anyone, because they understand the consequences. So, there is something more wrong with people bullying others.

Just the other day I was talking to some friends, reminiscing school days. We asked each other , if we ever bullied someone. I couldn’t recall anything, but I am sure in one way or the other, I must’ve said some ‘inappropriate’ words to some friends. But there’s no justification for that. Of course, we call names with friends, it’s basic friendly gesture, but I am sure that in one way or the other, we have bullied others and have been bullied ourselves! But how do we know?


Types of BULLY:

Source: National Centre Against Bullying, Australia

Physical bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property.  Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage. 

Verbal bullying

Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target.

Social bullying

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person’s back.  It is designed to harm someone’s social reputation and / or cause humiliation.

Social bullying can include:

  • lying and spreading rumours
  • negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
  • playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  • mimicking unkindly
  • encouraging others to social exclude someone
  • damaging someone’s social reputation or social acceptance.

Cyber bullying

The Cyber Bullying Research Centre defines cyber bullying as:  Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying.

Cyber bullying can include:

  • abusive or hurtful texts, emails or posts, images or videos
  • deliberately excluding others online
  • nasty gossip or rumours
  • imitating others online or using their log-in.

Are You A Bully?

I haven’t change a word from the website for ‘Types Of Bullies’. The website described it quite well, and I am hoping it is pretty clear to you after reading it, if you’re a bully or not. I am sure, we’ve all been a Verbal or a Social Bully, even if we admit it or not. We have called names, teased people, made fun of them based on their height, weight, skin colour or life choices even. It may be friendly, if you want to justify, but you cannot. Some people are stronger and these things doesn’t affect them as much a it does to others. To the ones this affects the most, are your fellow human beings, who have been suffering because of us and we can stop their sufferings. But there are other types of bullies, the website didn’t mention, but it happens everyday.

Other Types Of Bullying, That Proves We’re All Bullies

There is no one in particular that describes enough to prove that we’re all bullies. But I am determined to address and stop.

Remember when we talked about ‘that girl’ being ‘fatter’ or ‘that guy’ being ‘gay’ or spread rumours about someone having an affair. Even judging someone by things we’ve heard from someone else?

Have you seen ‘Gossip Girl’? Or read the books? Gossip Girl is a 6 Season Crash Course of ‘How To Be A Bully’.

Gossip is a type of bully that is being used for ages and I know, I can say all I want, but it will never stop. But, the least we can do, is stop the rumours and trash-talk about people based on the things they cannot control. Let’s start today. Now.


Have You Been Bullied?

I am sure you have. When you were called out for being too skinny, too tall, too fat, too short, too dark, too fair, too extroverted or too introverted, too friendly, or too arrogant. Need I say more? But how does it affect us?

Self-Doubt: We doubt ourselves and our lives because of it. We doubt if there’s something wrong with us, when in fact, it’s the person calling you out who’s wrong.

Negative Thoughts: We can think through out, but only negative ones. When we’re bullied, our positive approach to things is diminished to none. Inspite of knowing, that it’s not us, it’s them.

Abandoning Social Flowers: We reduce social interactions and stop watering relationships that can grow for good. Not because we don’t want to, but bullying comes with a price & you feel like we don’t have a friend anymore. All we have, are bullies.

When we’re bullied, we can face consequences through out our lives. If we are strong, then we forget easily, but if it effects the core of our strength, mainly the core of our existence, we become scarred for life. Those scars haunt us everyday and we’re not even responsible for them!

This is a part, where I should tell you – stop bullying and don’t get bullied yourself. Don’t punish others for your miseries, make better friendships that can help & live with a more kind, positive approach to life and others. BUT. I won’t say it. It’s upto you.

It’s a choice without an option.

NOTE: I won’t mention animal bullying. You’re smart enough.


mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Sarcasm, Society, Write

Looking For The Shadow – A Short Story (Part I)

Trench coat, leather boots, a hat- Teresa wore her favourite outfit and her usual attitude. A red-wine lipstick shade, or as the fancy folks call it – burgundy may be! I don’t know, I focus on the colour, not the name. Just like, how Teresa loves fame and not the reason behind. Leaving at 10.00 a.m. sharp, everyday to visit her best friends in the park. Although, they never leave her side, but she still finds a positive vibe with them in the park. She walked all the way to the bridge that connects two sides of the city. She stops in the mid of the bridge and walks towards the edge. Holding the railing, she gazes into the water and looks at her shadow. She laughs and then frowns, yet the shadow remains intact. She dances and the shadow moves. So she says to herself, “There’s no change in life until there’s no effort”. She scoffs and starts to walk again. She sits on her usual bench in the park, waiting for her best friends, or moreover ignoring them!

They’re exhausting actually. They make her feel so bad about herself! She hates everything about her life when she’s with them! They’re so popular and because of that she’s famous too!!! But they’ve been friends for so long, that she can’t seem to break it off! They’re the only interesting thing in her life after all. So she doesn’t care why she’s famous, but she is and that’s what matters most. She’s been waiting for a while, where are they? She looks around her, people are hanging out, exercising, kids playing and the lake seems cleaner than yesterday. That’s nice. Suddenly, she starts crying. Tears roll down her eyes, yet her face remains expressionless. As the tear drops on her finger, she looks down and sees the droplet. She then touches her face and realises, it’s her own tears!

“Alright, you’re here now”, she taunts. “I was waiting when you’d show up. Took a long time today.” Nobody notices her talking to herself! She doesn’t care about that now. Her friend’s finally here.

“I was thinking about how nice it is that the lake is cleaner than yesterday. I wish you wouldn’t show up just then, I was having a moment there”! No answer! But, who’s she brewing for answers?

Eight months ago, Teresa went to the same bridge she was walking on today and jumped into the river. It was a suicide attempt, luckily she survived. But unluckily for her, she survived! She was all over the news the next day – The Girl Who ALMOST Died. She was kept in the hospital for a week and then was transferred to rehab. Two weeks into it, a psychologist came to see her. To council her or may be understand why she jumped off the bridge! The session was scheduled for 90 minutes, but went on for five hours!

“My name is Abdul Smith”, the psychologist introduced himself. “Abdul? & Smith? well, that’s quite unusual”, Teresa attempted to turn things on to him. “It’s not unusual. It’s suicidal“, Abdul attempted his dark humour! Teresa remained quiet. Smith realised, his dark humour is now failing him! He needs to up his game, if he wants this girl to get to talking.

“How are you feeling today?”, he tried to lighten the mood. “Fine.” That’s it? Fine? No, ‘Bad Joke’, ‘Not Funny’! This is my first day as a professional psychologist. She is my first patient and I am already in regret!!! My degree is a waste!

“Let’s get to the point okay. This is my first day as a psychologist and you’re my first patient, so I want this to workout. Whatever it takes”, Abdul confessed. “Easy Avenger! I thought that’s not how you people talk to the people who’re suicidal! Well, you’re not like the others I presume! Let’s get to the point indeed. Shoot your questions. I am not afraid of them or you or anyone else and I am certainly not ashamed of what I did!” Teresa is finally talking!

“Why did you do it?”, not wasting any more time on small talks Smith! “Why does anyone do it? I don’t want to live in this shitty world.” Teresa answered. “Why? Did someone wronged you in anyway?”, Abdul digs more.

“Everyone has wronged everyone. I am not the only one!”, Teresa argued.

“Tell me what you’re thinking and why did you jumped off that bridge. I don’t like to waste time on single sentences.” Desperate times, desperate measures! Smith knows by now, Teresa will only tell him the truth if he’ll talk to her in her own attitude. So be it. She’ll talk, it’ll work.

“Sad, but your time is up. See you back soon?! goodbye.” Teresa leaves for her room. Smith is impressed, how some people with mental health issues are so acceptable of their condition & can still maintain chivalry. Fine. Tomorrow.

“How are you feeling today Smith?” Teresa seems in a good mood to toy around. “No small talk. Remember”? Abdul is not getting smitten today! “Wow! That’s hot!” Teresa would do anything to stall talking.

“Why did you jump off the bridge?” Not wasting time today!

*10 minutes silence*

“Tell me! I may be able to change your mind about it!” Playing doctor-doctor but like a friend.

“I told you, I don’t want to live in this shitty world. A world where humans think themselves as God, where poor are treated as animals & animals are treated as nothing! I hate everyone. They’re selfish and inhumane. All they want to do is to fill their pockets. The crimes they commit are justified with money and with that power they exploit other people.” Teresa said.

“Is that all?” Smith asked.

“What do you mean IS THAT ALL? What is wrong with you? How can you take this so lightly? Rapes, Riots, Robbery, Lynching, Violence, Exploitation, Corruption and what not! And you don’t think that’s enough?” Teresa questioned.

“I am asking, if there’s any personal reason for what you’d done, you sound like a failed activist and not my patient.” Brutally honest doctor, for the brutal thinker sitting with him!

“These are my personal issues. My friend was raped by a guy who got away with the allegations because he had money. His family bribed the authorities incharge and they put charges against my friend, for fraud & defamation. My friend lost her job, her career is finished. Because the company didn’t want someone of her reputation to be working with the PRESTIGIOUS scoundrels!” Teresa confessed.

“Sounds like you felt very deeply for your FRIEND!” Abdul is questioning on her truth!

“I know it sounds like it all happened with me and I am covering up the shame by the name of a friend, but I own everything I do. I’d never run away if it had happened with me.” Teresa cleared out the allegations.

“But why kill YOURSELF?” Doctor is now officially confused!

“I am sick of it. There’s nothing good in this world. All I see is crime and fraud. People dying and people killing. I have a good family and a fulfilling job, but I am not happy with how things are in this world!” Teresa clearing the confusion.

“I am glad you’re not a public speaker, because you can be influential but for all the wrong reasons! You’re the most negative person I’ve ever met! BUT, you’re not wrong!” Abdul is quite agreeing with someone who attempted suicide for no personal reasons at all!

Teresa smiled. For the first time in a long while! Smith smiled surprisingly, seeing Teresa smile assured him, he’s on the right track. All I have to do is, give her a different approach about life and make her see the good in the world. Just like in the movies.

Art, mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Uncategorized, Write

A Scam Called DREAM

A Poetic Rant.

Let Dreams be dreams.

Don’t let them scream.

It’ll be worse than it seems.

They put pressure on our hearts,

And are empowered to control what we want!

They ruin reality, 

And don’t let life be.

They ask us to hustle,

 And in the process, we even forget ourselves.

Dreams manipulate our needs into desire,

Before we know it, our greed burns up like raging fire.


Dreams tell us to work work work,

All work & no play, makes us dull dull dull.

Life would’ve been easier without the power of the subconscious mind,

Neuroscience would be less complicated, & brain exercises would’ve gotten more time!

With the power of imagination, the human race survived,

But “with great power comes great responsibility” , is an understated line!

This scam that our brain runs, is one of a kind!

“Dream big and achieve big”- is the fraud of the century,

You DO the hard work with an ambition and not a dream itinerary!!

The time spent on dreams and daydreams alone,

Is half-life of an average human being.

What’s good in wasting time on senseless scenarios, 

Where you’re your only team!


Dream to be a writer, painter, singer, dancer — sound like a dream !

Real life is the antidote to delusional realities.

We can achieve these ‘ambitions’ if we work hard & have the skills at heart,

But we can never win in life, if we keep pretending to be smart!

Be smart and let the dreams be dreams alone,

Don’t push yourselves so hard before you’re grown.

Dream-land is a nice escape from the troubles of the world,

Yet, only in reality, you can touch the ground from above.


Thanks for reading. Namaste.

Art, Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Society, Write

Quote Of The Day

Losing yourself is not easy and so isn’t finding yourself. Both the path collide at a point and if you know that it’s NOT the day to lose yourself, then you know, you’ve found yourself instead.

Art, Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

20 Reasons Why Writing Isn’t As Easy As It Looks!

Believe it or not, people think writing is easy and anyone can be a writer. Well, yes anyone CAN be a writer, as long as they’re willing to give up certain things for it! I never thought I’d call myself a writer & to be honest, I have my doubts even today! I have realised some things that makes writing one of the toughest creative jobs! Although, creativity is tough as it is. Yet, I’ll speak only for myself today! Writing isn’t a piece of cake!

I haven’t found my writing voice yet. I don’t know what works best for me & I have no idea when I’ll follow just ONE genre to write about! As of now, I write what I am feeling! May be that’s my writing voice, PERSONAL.

The Most Personal Is The Most Creative.

– Martin Scorsese

Not every writer struggle with that though. Some of them are straight forward and damn clear about what they will write about. They don’t have to wander in the creative realm for different topics. They find their creative topics within their genre, because they know where to look & how! Well, I adore all of them! And the ones like me, who are clueless & write about WHATEVER, I understand. You’re not alone. The writers I am talking about are the emotional ones, for whom writing is their passion, not the ones who’re selling writing courses on their websites! Those aren’t writers, those are marketers.

However, the WRITERS, who have a clear head and the ones who’re clueless, have something in common. They’re WRITERS. As a writer, you have insecurities & doubts. You know it if you’re a writer, that you struggle everyday. It isn’t easy and it won’t be. EVER.


20 Reasons Why Writing Is Frightening:

#1 Writer’s Block. Already scary, isn’t it! I have this almost every month!! Running out of words, will & intention to write anymore!!

#2 Creative Block. Similar to #1 but not exactly that. It’s about running out of topics to write about. Especially, if you’re into “I want to write something different” thing!

#3 Exhaustion. I won’t say writers are untouchable to exhaustion! Even the most passionate ones get exhausted once in a while! And just like every other creative person, we take a break and recharge our brain.

#4 Fear. You can be the most fearless person in the room, yet right before you hit publish for a blog post or a book, you’ll be anxious. After hitting publish, you’ll be in fear of non-acceptance. Your words matter to you, but will they matter to your audience?!

#5 Expectations. Expectations to over do our previous write-ups, previous books or previous hits! Expectations that with each post, you become a better writer, even if nobody tells you so. For a writer, expectations to be better than your yesterday self are so high, that sometimes we forget that the reality will always belong to us anyway!

#6 Statistics. For a writer, stats is like sugar addiction! You know it’s going to harm you, yet you consume it everyday. Even multiple times a day! How many hits my blog got, how many people liked my post, how many people visited my site! And don’t get me started with a book statistics! If you’ve published a book, you know it!

#7 Authenticity. The most fearful times for writers are the question of authenticity. Plagiarism is a BIGGEST BANE in writing community. First of all, if you copy someone else’s work and DON’T give them credit, STOP CALLING YOURSELF A WRITER. You’ll never be one. All a writer ever wants, is for people to respect his/her words and appreciate the effort he/she has put in to write something! Any article we write is like our baby! So please love it and respect the effort!

#8 Competition. Writing is the most competitive form of work. Someone had to say it, and I am not afraid to. If you’re a writer, you have to face and accept the fact that there is immense competition in the industry. Almost, everyone’s trying to be a blogger, a creator, a writer, an author and on top of that, they may be doing it better than you. As much as internet has helped everyone to showcase their talents, it has also cluttered the way to be on top!

#9 Multi-Tasking. Writing is not just one job. You have to be a writer, a marketer, a social media manager, basically an expert of the online world to promote your brand and words to as many people as possible. Thankfully, writing community is extremely supportive of each other.

#10 Currency. Writing doesn’t pay unless you spend some of money to be seen and heard in the crowd! Ads, Domains, Website services, Promotions, Book publishing !! All of this happens BEFORE we start earning a single penny, which by the way, is not sure to be within your pocket anytime soon! It takes months or years even!

#11 Vulnerability. A writer is vulnerable when he/she writes about personal experiences. As I mentioned earlier, My writing voice is PERSONAL. The most personal is the most creative but it has its downside. It’s hard to show your inner-most feelings to the world and not get judged! Yet, a good writer knows how to portray it in a decent way, but a great writer – Just Doesn’t Care. A Great Writer knows the value of true & authentic self portrayal.

#12 Joblessness. If you’ve opted writing as your full-time job, for others, its not really a job. People think you don’t have a source of income and you’re wasting your time on this writing bit, because there’s so much competition already! How’re you ever going to beat that! It can make a writer discouraged and demotivated. But we keep going, because it’s what we want to do and we believe in ourselves. We won’t stop until we make it work.

#13 Mental Health. Writers read A LOT! Other writer’s content, topics that interests us, research that can help with their own work, books. Writer’s also READ BETWEEN THE LINES. Most of the writers are empathetic and compassionate. They share their feelings on their blog and the deepest feelings in a diary, and so, they have hard time sharing in real life. They listen to others and all of this listening, reading, not sharing takes a toll on their mental health- on a daily basis.

#14 Consistency. A continuous pressure cooker!! To write more, if possible, everyday. If not, then thrice a week. To keep posting ANYTHING so that people don’t forget about the blog ! To keep up with the competitors, because they write EVERYDAY!! Well, Brutus not everyone can write everyday!

#15 Social-Life. When you become a writer, you naturally tend to cut off with people because of your schedules and lack of time! NO! The truth is not that. A writer is socially off, even when he/she is with people, because they’re making notes in the head about what they’re going to write next which is inspired from this very event. They’re so into it, that they don’t enjoy much or even gel well with others. Their brain is running at 125kmh! So, they have fewer friends and they zone out more often. They’re basically introverts of the creative world!

#16 Opacity. A writer wants to be transparent but it’s quite not possible for them to be it! They’re naturally opaque. They will not show their true selves to anyone, because their true self reflects in their words and in real-life, they are NOT their words. Because the words are the safer space for a writer to be him/herself. Their writings are transparent but their lives are opaque.

#17 Distractions. Just like now, I typed this heading and started using Instagram ! Social media distractions are the worst. But they’re with everyone. A writer is distracted with anything! A writer needs a personal space, a quite environment and some alone time to write the best. Otherwise, It just blows off well!

#18 Romance. No, romance is not a distraction for a writer. But the problem is, romance is basically content. Not everyone supports that. So if you ever commit to a writer, be prepared to be the show stopper! Most writers write about their personal experiences, that includes love- BIG TIME. Either you can support that, or get annoyed! Sorry, can’t help it!

#19 Giving Up. Not on writing, NO! Giving up on some other things they love doing. Because if our minds are into multiple things, we’ll probably blow it off with everything we do. So, if want to write, you have to give up on your other passions! Not that you can’t practice them once in a while. You have to, its rejuvenating. But work on one thing and let go of the rest! It’s really hard though.

#20 Self-Doubt. Writers have self-doubts regarding everything. Every word they write, every step they take forward, every book they publish, every feedback they get, everyday when words don’t visit, every time someone says “get a job”, every now & then, a writer doubts him/herself, if he/she’s doing the right thing! If he/she’ll ever get where they’ve aimed or more! But what keeps them going, is the one thing they started for – They Love To Write.

While writing the start of this post, I didn’t have a writing voice. Now, I do. Like I said, My writing voice is personal. I found it while writing this personal article, to share it with whomever needs to know it! Writing isn’t as easy, as it looks. If you still want to keep writing, then never stop, because you love it too much to give up.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.


Love is all we seek, yet, hurt is what we get. A Poetry Ebook portraying love at its best. Get Your Ebook Of love Today: The Poetic Journal On Amazon & Kindle.

Art, Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Write

My Ebook Is Finally On Amazon !!

BUY HERE.

Just like everyone else, I’ve let justify success for me. I’ve let people tell me what achievements I have appealed to! But, when opportunities doesn’t come your way, you have to create one for yourself. No matter how scary it looks, once the opportunity is created, it’ll all be for the best!

I won’t lie, I was scared and so anxious about how I am going to do it and how it’s going to be received! To my surprise things turned out to be just fine! I wanted to publish a book for a long time, may be I was just looking for the right knowledge, the right platform & moreover, the right time!

My FIRST EBOOK- ” THE POETIC JOURNAL” is now available on Amazon & Kindle Stores.

CHECK IT OUT.

The book is self-published via Kindle Direct Publishing. I won’t lie, it took me a while to finally hit PUBLISH! Just writer things!!! The book is a collection of my poems and a journey of love through the rhythm of words.

TAKE A LOOK OR BUY HERE.

Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Understanding A Heartbreak

Disclaimer: All the words written below are the writer’s personal thoughts and experience-based curations. They’re solely aimed towards personal/self-awareness & growth.


I have been told that love hurts. That love gives nothing but pain. That love is the antidote of nothing but happiness! I disagree to agree though! I have been in love and it’s been a beautiful journey. Clearly, it feels like a heartbreak, which it is. But it’s also a trigger towards my growth. Am I the only one who has seen movies that portray the post break-up success story? I am sure you must’ve seen some of them! Anyway, that’s not how it works in real life!

In real life, you’re waking up to hurt and going to sleep hurt. Everything you see, do, eat, read hurts. The only pain relief is a text or a call from the heart-breaker! But, WAKE UP! It ain’t going to happen. It’s not necessary for the one you love, to love you back! You can’t force someone to love you & you sure can’t control their heart when it gets distracted by someone else! So, How do we understand a heartbreak when we can’t understand love?


Understanding LOVE

This is a tricky one. Can anyone ever understand love after all? With so much advancements in the world, we can at least give it a try! I write a lot about love, but that doesn’t mean that I understand love better than anyone else. What is MY definition for love is way different than yours. Love is an individual emotion. Billions of beings on this planet feel it in billion ways. All I can say is that LOVE IS IMMORTAL. Once you love someone, you can’t un-love them. It has its beauty & beast-ness in it, but it works.

Loving someone for a long time can be exhausting if they don’t reciprocate. What we should focus on is SELF GROWTH. And How Does Love Helps In Growth, read HERE.

It’s okay to love someone and still not like them!

All we need is to learn how to channel our emotions into the right direction and we’ll deal with our heartbreak like a rockstar!


As they portray in the movies that a heartbreak has its phases. But before we get into those, we must understand the difference between a break-up & a Heartbreak, because a heartbreak is NOT necessarily taken as a break-up.

Difference between a Break-up & a Heartbreak

A Break-up is when two individuals mutually decide to end a commitment (emotional or professional) because its not working out. A break-up is also a type of heartbreak as it hurts the same way, but not vice-versa.

A heartbreak is when one of the two individuals wants to leave the commitment and other doesn’t. Another type of heartbreak is when the one individual is interested in another individual and the commitment or feelings aren’t mutual and the former gets rejected by the latter or the love-interest. It is also known as Unrequited Love. To know more about Unrequited Love, read this – The Truth About Unrequited Love.


Phases of a Heartbreak

Phase #1 : DENIAL

This is the initial level of a break up or a heart break. In this phase, the person with a broken heart is denying the truth that the relationship is finally over. The person may consider it as a big-fight and will still cling on to patching up with the ex-partner.

This is a difficult phase, but with self-awareness, good friends & self-love, one can pass it and move on to the next phase.

Phase #2 : HOPE

I know how it feels to have a false hope of something happening, & to not let go! Life becomes scary without that hope. Letting go seems impossible. The hope, that they will come back to you. The hope, that they’ll love you back. One text, call or even a like from them on your post triggers that hope & the cycle goes on. The minute you decide to let the hope die, it will find it’s way of coming back to you. Beware when it does.

Whenever that hope comes, remember, it’s not HOPE, it’s just a text, a call or a like. It means NOTHING. There you go, to the next phase!

Phase #3 : REALISATION

This is the most important phase of a heartbreak because of 2 reasons.

One- It consists of letting go of denial & hope, the first two phases -together.

Two- It takes you to the main part of becoming emotionally independent.

This phase makes you realise why the commitment ended and why it is a good thing that it did. You finally see all the red-flags and toxic elements you have been ignoring for too long. You realise that it’s a good thing that they did what they did & you’re better off without them.


After we cross the phases of the heartbreak, we enter a whole new perspective about, life, love & ourselves. We accept that, as Oscar Wilde said, “Heart Was Meant To Be Broken”. But Washington Irving also said, “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”…..

So, It becomes our choice how we perceive the heartbreak. An opportunity to grow or to drown in the pain!


To Deal With A Heartbreak

There is abundance of “how to get over someone”, ” how to move on after a break-up” posts, all over the internet. This is NONE of those!

This post is intended for you to understand the hurt of your heartbreak, so that you can channelise those feelings into something better for yourself. Just don’t hold your feelings inside your heart, it will get wrecked.

Let’s deal with the heartbreak, shall we!

Method #1 : CRY IT OUT

As much as I am a fan of laughter and humour, I also support crying once in a while. It lightens our mind and lets out the stress. So, if you feel like crying. CRY.

Method #2 : CREATE

When I say ‘Channelise your feelings’, I mean CREATE. Like I started writing as the result of some negative emotions I had. I couldn’t do anything about them, so I started pouring them down into words & hence, Writing has become a part of me. I also created my podcast because of the things I was unable to say. Most of the artists do this. They CREATE through their emotions. Try it.

Method #3 : TALK ABOUT IT OR LAUGH ABOUT IT!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t share my deepest thoughts with anyone but my writing but sometimes its good to talk about the things that are bothering you. It gives you a chance to look at a situation from someone else’s perspective which you’re too hurt to see on your own. When your best friend tells you, “Tell Me Everything”, They say so to help you in ways no one else can. SO TALK. Also, there are so many memes about heartbreak and crushes that can give you a good laugh in a tense moment and make you realise- YOU AREN’T ALONE.

Method #4 : FORGIVE, FORGET & FIND YOURSELF

Forgive the ones who did you wrong. They’re only human.

Forget the pain , the hurt & the loss.

Find Yourself by learning from the past, working in the present without thinking about the future.


There can be more methods to deal with a heartbreak, but I personally feel, you can only deal with pain & get over it, if YOU want to. Moreover, If you are able to follow these methods, you can deal with any pain or hurt in your way. So,

Accept it. Learn from it. Move On.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.


Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Thought Of The Day

Toxicity is like burning in hell. Yet, we burn alone as well. But what about burning with someone who isn’t right for you? Click.

Art, Personal Development, Uncategorized, Write

A Major Writer’s Block

And how to deal with it.


Dread it. Run from it. Writer’s Block arrives anyway!! Believe it or not, I am writing this out of writer’s block! I think there’s a different definition for everyone. For me, writer’s block means a state where I want to write, I have things to write about but I don’t feel like writing! It happens often. So that’s MY writer’s block. Other’s definition might involve :

  • Having topics to write but not being able to find the right words.
  • Having the topic & the words but not the intention to share RIGHT NOW.
  • Having the words but not the content to write about, well, this one I call creativity block & not writer’s block.

You can add up your own definition for it. 


The Path That Leads To Writer’s Block

As mentioned on Wikipedia-

Writer’s block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work or experiences a creative slowdown. This loss of ability to write and produce new work is not a result of commitment problems or lack of writing skills. The condition ranges from difficulty in coming up with original ideas to being unable to produce a work for years. Writer’s block is not solely measured by time passing without writing. It is measured by time passing without productivity in the task at hand.

Read the last line again. 

Ever experienced it? Of course you did. Every writer goes through this multiple times in a single quarter. Personally, I don’t consider writing as my passion. I consider writing as my art. Just like every other artist, I have my bad days & the good ones. On bad days, I am unable to create any art, even when I want to. On good days, I create art, but I don’t get audience. Yet, I created it, so it’s still a good day. The one thing common in the bad & the good days is my will to create art! My intention never changes. All I want is to write more & more.

Even when I planned my days for writing, made strategies & tried every bit to be better everyday, like I’ve done here:


I kind of failed terribly! I followed this for the first week. Then, I forgot about it and went all “Write anything-everyday”! So, I TRY to write as much as I can. But on somedays, I am lost! Like today. So, I decided to write about writer’s block itself!

Writing about a writer’s block is better than not writing at all. –Charles Bukowski


“All the planning & research won’t matter if we’re trapped inside our heads! “

Who Traps Us Anyway? 

We’re free to write, read & think! How does it get to this point? I think it’s the pressure to outgrow our older self. To write more & better. To just DO! It’s the pressure WE put on ourselves. Our expectations with ourselves keeps on growing with our growth as well. 

A writer should be this, a writer should write this, a writer should do certain things! 


Can you see the desperation? To be better than yesterday! To be better at my art! The above points were jot down after reading several articles about WRITERS. I had written these a year ago. Haven’t seen them since then. Just opened the notebook and clicked this picture! Just like the photograph, these points for me are way too blurry to focus on! 

“It’s the pressure to outgrow our older self”

Rules For The Writer ME- ‘Rule of Thirds Cube’

Since, I haven’t followed the above points by heart, I have been following my own set of rules which I’d like to share because for a writer, 

RULE #1 is Sharing.

RULE #2 : Write at your own pace. 

RULE #3 : Ignore everybody.

RULE #4 : Read other writers.

RULE #5 : Don’t worry about the results.

RULE #6 : Don’t rush to hit publish. Write well. Edit well.

RULE #7 : Appreciate the feedback. Good or Bad.

RULE #8 : Write out your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, anxieties & other realities.

RULE #9 : Make your own set of rules. Other’s won’t apply. You’re different.


What Happens In The Writer’s Block?

Instead of having the ‘Rule of Thirds Cube’, I can’t really work efficiently sometimes. It’s like Voldemort has entered my head and is seeing all the things I’ve been keeping inside and is controlling me through them! The more I resist, the stronger he’s going to get! So I give in. Let him take control of the writer me. Meanwhile, I am focusing on other tasks I wanted to work on. Just like yesterday, I left this story midway and started again today. I knew I had to finish this but I still didn’t bother to write! That’s writer’s block. I read another story — “I am writing after 4 days!” or something similar to that. It gave me an edge to take a break as well. I am not the type who can write EVERYDAY! I try sometimes, I succeed as well, but at the end of it, I know I exhaust myself when I write everyday consistently and it results in writer’s block! That’s why I wrote this even before I had writer’s block. May be I had it coming!

Writing Everyday Is NOT Going To Help You


“Today, I am determined to finally get to the finish line.”

This was the result of frustration with everyone advising otherwise! So I had my own rules and restrictions for writing or not writing! The most important thing I can share is that it took me a week to finish this story. I have been writing this everyday bit by bit, yet today, I am determined to finally get to the finish line.


“We have been taught to look at the bright side of everything.”

How To Deal With Writer’s Block?

The fact that it took me a week to get to this headline is the first solution to writer’s block amongst others.We’ll find out how, but before we go into ways to deal with writer’s block, let’s first look into the Pros & Cons of it. YES. You read that right. We have been taught to look at the bright side of everything. There’re some here as well.

Let’s first look at the cons of writer’s block, because that’s all we know right!

  • You become inconsistent.
  • You feel anxious & guilty.
  • You feel like you can’t write anymore & you’re afraid.
  • Your stats decline.
  • You aren’t productive & you can’t seem to focus on other tasks as well.

Now, it’s time to look at the bright side, the pros of writer’s block:

  • You get time to recharge your brain.
  • You can research on your skills & ideas.
  • You can take a break & enjoy your leisure time.
  • You can learn new things or do online courses.
  • You can explore other talents you have.
  • You can prepare for your writer’s block to be over.
  • Finally, You write with a new energy & same amount of passion you had before the block.

You see? It’s all good. Now, the main question is how to deal with writer’s block? 

The Solutions:

#1: Write in bits everyday during writer’s block. (Like I took a week to finish this article).

#2: Read other writers to learn & get inspired.

#3: Understand that the block is temporary & so, you’ll need ideas to write about. Explore some.

#4: Don’t pressurise yourself to write. You’ll write when you’re ready, I promise. But, If it gets too much for you to take, sit & write anything you feel like. 

#5: Read anything, watch some movies or web series, cook some delicious meals, plant trees, listen to music, clean the house, go for a walk. Basically, spend sometime with yourself.

For me, these solutions have been enough. There may be more, depending on what works for different people. Writer’s block can be hard & daunting, but with time and patience, you can overcome anything & so this as well. I hope this was helpful. Because as writers, we ride in the same boat and we can only help each other to make it easier. 

Thanks for reading. Namaste.