Love, mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Write

Pain Is A Friend

I’d say yes, you’re right.

Pain a friend so tight.

Never leaves my side,

Just seems invisible at times!

The feeling lost once in a while,

The longing for love in mind,

The knowing, love hurts in the heart,

It all plays a part.

Though, not having anyone,

Still feeling pain inside,

Means pain is a friend so tight.


Tired of love, giving so much,

& receiving none.

Makes me wonder ,

If love is even the question to be answered!

There’s so much in life to be conquered.

Yet, Love is what makes us wander!

WHY?

Is love the enemy after all the slumber?

Is Love the nemesis, I should stay away from?

It fills heart with false hope, which isn’t right,

Pain is the friend after all this time!


Letting go of feelings, takes courage & will.

Loving more than they deserve takes cowardice & skill!

Pain at every step, warns to reassure!

To watch what we’re doing & feeling so pure!

Love is the poison to brainwash the giver.

To make the receiver, a king & a schemer.

To play with heart, feelings & life,

Love teaches to destroy the kind!

Love is the actual villain that we fail to find.

It is Pain, that is our friend in disguise.

Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Understanding A Heartbreak

Disclaimer: All the words written below are the writer’s personal thoughts and experience-based curations. They’re solely aimed towards personal/self-awareness & growth.


I have been told that love hurts. That love gives nothing but pain. That love is the antidote of nothing but happiness! I disagree to agree though! I have been in love and it’s been a beautiful journey. Clearly, it feels like a heartbreak, which it is. But it’s also a trigger towards my growth. Am I the only one who has seen movies that portray the post break-up success story? I am sure you must’ve seen some of them! Anyway, that’s not how it works in real life!

In real life, you’re waking up to hurt and going to sleep hurt. Everything you see, do, eat, read hurts. The only pain relief is a text or a call from the heart-breaker! But, WAKE UP! It ain’t going to happen. It’s not necessary for the one you love, to love you back! You can’t force someone to love you & you sure can’t control their heart when it gets distracted by someone else! So, How do we understand a heartbreak when we can’t understand love?


Understanding LOVE

This is a tricky one. Can anyone ever understand love after all? With so much advancements in the world, we can at least give it a try! I write a lot about love, but that doesn’t mean that I understand love better than anyone else. What is MY definition for love is way different than yours. Love is an individual emotion. Billions of beings on this planet feel it in billion ways. All I can say is that LOVE IS IMMORTAL. Once you love someone, you can’t un-love them. It has its beauty & beast-ness in it, but it works.

Loving someone for a long time can be exhausting if they don’t reciprocate. What we should focus on is SELF GROWTH. And How Does Love Helps In Growth, read HERE.

It’s okay to love someone and still not like them!

All we need is to learn how to channel our emotions into the right direction and we’ll deal with our heartbreak like a rockstar!


As they portray in the movies that a heartbreak has its phases. But before we get into those, we must understand the difference between a break-up & a Heartbreak, because a heartbreak is NOT necessarily taken as a break-up.

Difference between a Break-up & a Heartbreak

A Break-up is when two individuals mutually decide to end a commitment (emotional or professional) because its not working out. A break-up is also a type of heartbreak as it hurts the same way, but not vice-versa.

A heartbreak is when one of the two individuals wants to leave the commitment and other doesn’t. Another type of heartbreak is when the one individual is interested in another individual and the commitment or feelings aren’t mutual and the former gets rejected by the latter or the love-interest. It is also known as Unrequited Love. To know more about Unrequited Love, read this – The Truth About Unrequited Love.


Phases of a Heartbreak

Phase #1 : DENIAL

This is the initial level of a break up or a heart break. In this phase, the person with a broken heart is denying the truth that the relationship is finally over. The person may consider it as a big-fight and will still cling on to patching up with the ex-partner.

This is a difficult phase, but with self-awareness, good friends & self-love, one can pass it and move on to the next phase.

Phase #2 : HOPE

I know how it feels to have a false hope of something happening, & to not let go! Life becomes scary without that hope. Letting go seems impossible. The hope, that they will come back to you. The hope, that they’ll love you back. One text, call or even a like from them on your post triggers that hope & the cycle goes on. The minute you decide to let the hope die, it will find it’s way of coming back to you. Beware when it does.

Whenever that hope comes, remember, it’s not HOPE, it’s just a text, a call or a like. It means NOTHING. There you go, to the next phase!

Phase #3 : REALISATION

This is the most important phase of a heartbreak because of 2 reasons.

One- It consists of letting go of denial & hope, the first two phases -together.

Two- It takes you to the main part of becoming emotionally independent.

This phase makes you realise why the commitment ended and why it is a good thing that it did. You finally see all the red-flags and toxic elements you have been ignoring for too long. You realise that it’s a good thing that they did what they did & you’re better off without them.


After we cross the phases of the heartbreak, we enter a whole new perspective about, life, love & ourselves. We accept that, as Oscar Wilde said, “Heart Was Meant To Be Broken”. But Washington Irving also said, “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”…..

So, It becomes our choice how we perceive the heartbreak. An opportunity to grow or to drown in the pain!


To Deal With A Heartbreak

There is abundance of “how to get over someone”, ” how to move on after a break-up” posts, all over the internet. This is NONE of those!

This post is intended for you to understand the hurt of your heartbreak, so that you can channelise those feelings into something better for yourself. Just don’t hold your feelings inside your heart, it will get wrecked.

Let’s deal with the heartbreak, shall we!

Method #1 : CRY IT OUT

As much as I am a fan of laughter and humour, I also support crying once in a while. It lightens our mind and lets out the stress. So, if you feel like crying. CRY.

Method #2 : CREATE

When I say ‘Channelise your feelings’, I mean CREATE. Like I started writing as the result of some negative emotions I had. I couldn’t do anything about them, so I started pouring them down into words & hence, Writing has become a part of me. I also created my podcast because of the things I was unable to say. Most of the artists do this. They CREATE through their emotions. Try it.

Method #3 : TALK ABOUT IT OR LAUGH ABOUT IT!

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t share my deepest thoughts with anyone but my writing but sometimes its good to talk about the things that are bothering you. It gives you a chance to look at a situation from someone else’s perspective which you’re too hurt to see on your own. When your best friend tells you, “Tell Me Everything”, They say so to help you in ways no one else can. SO TALK. Also, there are so many memes about heartbreak and crushes that can give you a good laugh in a tense moment and make you realise- YOU AREN’T ALONE.

Method #4 : FORGIVE, FORGET & FIND YOURSELF

Forgive the ones who did you wrong. They’re only human.

Forget the pain , the hurt & the loss.

Find Yourself by learning from the past, working in the present without thinking about the future.


There can be more methods to deal with a heartbreak, but I personally feel, you can only deal with pain & get over it, if YOU want to. Moreover, If you are able to follow these methods, you can deal with any pain or hurt in your way. So,

Accept it. Learn from it. Move On.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.


Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Thought Of The Day

Toxicity is like burning in hell. Yet, we burn alone as well. But what about burning with someone who isn’t right for you? Click.

Love, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Write

You’re My Home!


I miss you so much so,

Like I have nowhere to go.

In my dreams and daydreams as well,

You’re there even when I can’t tell.

I have been writing poetry about you,

Thinking you’ll leave & the hurt will end too.

By the day, it’s getting worse,

I can’t lose you, it’s like I have put on a curse!

I think I am strong & brave & everything I should be,

I know I want to let this go, so I can be ME.

Yet, the love is stronger and I can’t set myself free,

Please help me, because to me, it’s something only you can see.


I am taking a deep breath,

To calm myself down.

Don’t frown, you have no idea, 

My pain is not a clown.

Instead, it’s a crown,

I wear with pride & honesty.

A Crown, decorated with love & longing,

With my feelings going to sleep at my will,

And suddenly waking up out of nothing to kill!

I decide I have moved on one moment,

Yet, the next you’re there, staring at my vulnerable self.

It’s okay though, I have given you that right,

To see my naked soul,

And to ignore all the bright sides! 

You do ignore it all , don’t you?

So easy for you to not care & to be forgetful.

I know you think about me still.

Why don’t you set aside your insecurities once,

And ask me how I am doing in this nuance?

You won’t, I know.

Who am I kidding, you don’t think about me now.

Not after I have told you how I feel.

Not after, I have expressed that what I feel is real!

I am so delusional. I get that.

But is loving someone a criminal offence?

Why am I being punished every day & night!?

Why do you visit me anyway, my dear?

And now that you do, and have been doing for years,

Why don’t you consider my consistency?

Is it creepy to you, that I have the tranquility,

To love you from a distance?

Distance, that I crossed when I confessed my love!

May be that bothers you now?

That I collected the courage to say how?

You were happy when the distance was inside my heart!

It was best for you to talk to me whenever you’d want.

But now, you can’t do that anymore.

Too afraid to tell me the truth, or 

To admit that you feel something more.

More than what you’ve thought , or

Less than what you’ve fought for?

Well, I don’t know. 

You don’t tell me. I know you won’t. 

You’re a coward & an unreal serpent.

I am not sorry to call you that.

It’s true & I am hurt more than you know.

I miss you so much so, 

Like I have nowhere to go!

May be you’re the home I am looking for,

Yet, even with you, I have nowhere to go,

Now I wish , if you could destroy my feelings,

Just like you’ve destroyed our bond, 

Which I thought, was my home after all!


Love, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Write

Love, Pride & Ego.

I saw it. The way you looked at her. 

I knew it. You would never look at me that way.

It took a while to let that sink in. Now it has. 

Let’s get to reality, shall we.

I won’t like your pictures anymore.

Not even if you still look the most handsome man.

I won’t click on your name and read our chats again.

Because whenever I read our texts, I see only I, Me & Myself. 

You’re there for pity & to save your back up plan!!!

No, I am not going to be your backup anymore. 

Especially when I am not even a prior friend. 

I won’t talk to you, ever. Even if you call, i’ll be as formal as I can be.

Even if it means to be rude & blimey on your part.

As, I am not that crazy-wild girl anymore. Not to you.

Not the girl you used to know!

I am not in love with you now. 

Even if I feel something with just your thought.

That doesn’t mean love. It means my ego has taken over your name.

I am not going to text or call you ever. 

No more swallowing my pride for the love that exists only inside me.

You were nice to me. But now you just don’t care.

That hurts you know!!! 

Someone loving you so much & you loving just yourself!

Well, I shouldn’t be angry at you. 

It’s not your fault that I fell for you!

But I am going to be angry at you, because I need to heal.

You see, I have to be angry & hate you for not loving me.

The love needs to be transformed into pride & ego.

It’s the only way I can let you go……

Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Plagiarism Of Personality

 We’re ignoring our uniqueness.


Disclaimer: Everything written below is the writer’s thoughts and observation-based curations.

Don’t you think it’s a race? Race of being the best by being- different, unique, weird, crazy, abnormal, spooky, and some more words to describe the latest trend in the market? How often do we see stories of a romantic pair, where the guy tells the girl or vice-versa, “I like you because you’re different”! Only they realize later, that they’re all the same!! They think their partner is different is because they pretend to be at the beginning of the relationship. I am not saying they can’t be different, but the odds seem quite not-in-favor of the notion! For instance, take all of us. The Medium Writers. Aren’t we all trying to stand-out? Trying to write the most different & the next cool article that is loved by everyone? Why do you think I am writing this cool & different post? Let’s face it guys, our purpose in life is love. To love others, yes. But mostly to be loved by others. We live for validation & crave it in everything we do. Henceforth, the race to be cool & different begins!

But why do we ignore the fact that we are different !?


Plagiarism of Personality:

What am I getting at? At a point, that in being different & cool, we’re losing the touch! The touch of reality.

Being Yourself is a luxury only a few can afford. In between all the haze of ‘getting noticed’, all of us are losing the one thing we must always hold on to! Being Ourselves. The problem with today’s mindset is not that we’re hustling over ‘plagiarism of personalities’, but not being aware of it! As individuals, we have individual personalities (everyone knows that), yet we’re unknowingly competing with ourselves & not with others.

“Plagiarism of Personality can be defined as a person who, despite being sufficient on their own, thinks otherwise & tries to adopt practices that are considered to be ‘cooler’ & have been adapted by several beings, to get the attention of the people who’re suffering from the same, unknowingly.”

We all are different and that is the most basic similarity amongst us.


Weird Is The New Cool!

Everyone NOW thinks/knows that weird is the new cool. Hence, everyone is trying to be weird in their ways. Even if it means to lose yourself! If you’re naturally NOT weird, you’re still cool because at least You are Yourself! Trust me, Weird isn’t the new Cool! Being Yourself is.

Yet, this is not easily understandable if you’ve gone too far! Then let me make it easier:

There are weird people. They’re cool.

Some people aren’t weird, but they’re still cool.

Why do we want to copy other’s personalities to be as cool as them?

Why can’t we accept that dude, we’re in fact, cooler than thou!

Weird isn’t the new Cool! Being Yourself is.

Still, you can deny that you’re suffering from plagiarism of personality. It’s okay. Because we’re all weird. We all are different and that is the most basic similarity amongst us. Yet, we can’t run away from the truth, which is, we’re all struggling to win over the other. But the good thing is, we still love each other & support each other in every way possible.

To make it easier, I am going to share some signs & solutions, if the plagiarism of personality has taken a toll on you.

Signs of Plagiarism of Personality:

  • Denial & Unawareness.
  • Constant thoughts on how to ‘prove yourself’.
  • Thoughts like ‘They did this. How can I do that to be better’ are also common.
  • Trying to be different.
  • Seeking validation.
  • Low self-esteem.
  • Hard time making friends by setting higher standards for yourself.
  • Not feeling happy from the inside.
  • This list can be very long, but I’ll leave at it.

Solutions for Plagiarism Of Personality:

  • Be aware & accept the truth.
  • Work hard on originality and the results will show.
  • Get inspired by others. Not envied.
  • Embrace your different.
  • Stop giving a damn about what people think.
  • Be yourself. Accept you as you. Your confidence is the best thing to carry.
  • Be grateful for your true friends. Value their presence in your life.
  • Spend time with yourself. Love Yourself. You’ll be happier.

The point to remember is — You are YOU. There can never be another YOU. Don’t pollute that with plagiarism of personality! Embrace Yourself. We’re different and that’s why we’re cool.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.


Love, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

The Truth About Unrequited Love

Words from the Archive.

To all of you wondering what unrequited love means, Unrequited Love is that one-sided love story that you never got to start or finish!

I recently read an article about Unrequited Love and it really seemed very relatable and pure! That made me wonder, is it real or just momentary, or what really is the psychology behind unrequited love? So, I looked inside my own head and heart and here you’ll know some factual basis for having a heart-wrenching one-sided love affair!

First things first, when do you know that your crush or infatuation phase is over and now you have the one-sided love for a person? 

Well, psychology says that it takes 4 months to fall in love, and crush & infatuation happen all the time, but there’s a silver lining between all these.  Crushs may also remain for a long time depending on the person you’re crushing on! If the person is reciprocating the same amount of effort, you’ll crush over them even more! But then you’ll get to know them, and you’ll feel like “I don’t like this person anymore, it was better before when I knew nothing about them”!!! And your crush is over. Time for a new hunt.

Happens with me! *giggles*

Infatuation is slightly different because after the equal effort of the person you still like them, and you may feel like you can be with them and all that stuff. Day dreaming is a common disease around this (it’s common in every attraction though, planning the future and imagining, what it’ll be like to be their gf/bf)….*too much dopamine*. It has more passion, more evaluation and more regrets of doing crazy things! *Sighs*

But then someone better comes along, and there’s a wall that’s slowly building up, and the next thing you know, you have a new crush!

Love is another level of submission to the person who loves us back. You know things about them, they know things about you. You see someone better , but in your heart you both know that this person is the only one who makes me happy. (Love is selfish in nature by the way). And you know all the other things that happen when two people are in love!!! *Eye rolling*.

Now, the hard one is the Unrequited Love.

 I am sure most of us have had or still have a one-sided love for a person, who knows nothing about it!

This love is completely unconditional and selfless. We know the person and their traits, and we love everything about them, without any doubts about the fact that they may never feel the same for us! But, deep down, we still hope that someday they’ll reciprocate equally.

There’s one edge though. We don’t see the negative side of that person, or any deal breakers. We tend to focus on all the good things the person has and neglect their imperfections. That is why we find it hard to get out of these feelings.  I am not saying that a person’s imperfections are a bad thing, infact they make them more real and more human. But, when we deny that a person can have any spots, we are telling our brain to see them as PERFECT , for US!

Although this is stupid, but everything is fair in love! We all do it.

Why do we feel this way? 

When we see a person as PERFECT, we see all those things that we would want in our ideal partner to have! Of course, we don’t know who that’ll turn out to be, ideal or not. But, the person we have an unrequited love for, is that ideal partner for us! In simpler words, they just make us feel like home.

This is the only reason I feel there is, to have an undenying, undying, unconditional unrequited love.

Now, the real question is,

Can we get out of this hopeless love?

Well, it isn’t easy to get out of LOVE! Especially, when we have these feelings for a long time, months, or years may be! But, yes it is possible.

We just need to tell ourselves the real facts about this situation. The truth about Unrequited Love is that, its not in our hands to make someone fall in love with us. We can’t make anyone feel anything. So, we must accept the truth that these feelings, if grown stronger each day, will only harm US. To get out of them is to focus on the fact that THAT person may know about your feelings (because they do, it is obvious to guess if someone likes you), they still don’t do anything about it, and you are just waiting there for them to initiate, but trust me, they won’t.

Now, you can move on by accepting the fact that they know this, but still don’t feel the same way, and you can stop wasting your life hoping, they ever will! I know it’s hard , and it hurts.

But, do yourself a favour today. Get out of it. Because there’re plenty of fishes in the sea who will value you for YOU.

Love, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

I See You

A POEM.

There you go,

With your ego.

I see you, every day,

You try to escape.

Yet, I am clever than your head’s gate!

You were there, when I wasn’t playing games,

I saw you, seeing me with your eyes so tame!

Hypnotising! I must say,

Eyes do tell everything you don’t say.

Your pupils stick to my body,

While I was walking away.

It’s not your usual look,

It’s like you could have trapped me in a cage!

I will never forget those eyes of yours!

I think about them everyday!

I wonder, what they wanted to say!

“You’re mine”, or “Go away”?

Look was as if, it could mean in two ways!

History tells me, it’s the latter I must believe,

yet, With the former, I went all hay!

I close my eyes & I see you,

With your inciting gaze!!

I wonder if I choose the former,

Would you grab me by my waist?

Or push me away, like always?

Who can say, it’s all in the brain.

Yet, I see you everyday,

With your inciting gaze!!

Love, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

You’re not the ONE!

A POEM.

Your hopeless hope ,

Told me today, that you’re a foe.

You don’t care now I know,

I am angry & sad,

Not at you but on myself.

I believed you’re my love,

I just realised you’re not the one.

Love shouldn’t hurt like this,

Lovers are partners & not strangers that we know!

I hate to admit, I was wrong.

I took this where it never was,

Think, how much love I could have caused,

Yet, I am the reason why it’s SOMETHING,

When it was nothing at all!

I thought I could turn this around,

Make you love me & show you to the world.

But your refusal disappointed me every time,

Your fear was more powerful than your mind.

It felt like you just murdered my heart,

Like a newborn becomes an orphan!

With no fault of my own,

You hypnotised me into your soul,

But no more!

I am wide & awake,

I know it’s all fake.

I realised you’re not the one,

Because you’ve hurt me more than I deserved!

What I deserve, is to be a priority.

I forgive you anyway.

I am free & so are you. So it’s okay,

I am letting this go,

I finally breathe fresh air, on my own.

You’re not latching on my heart anymore,

I now have the control ,

Of my mind & soul.

Now, right has been done.

My Love, you’re not the one.

Love, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Uncategorized, Write

I Was Sixteen.

A POEM.

I was sixteen you see.
Wild & Free,
Always in a Hurry!
I met new people and old ones,
I found more liberty!
I got to know Love,
I was met with mistakes & glee.
There were times of sorrow,
but the bad times didn’t grow as trees.
Naive & Stupid, I was running all around,
With love & affection for enemies…
It’s okay though.
They were my friend at a point,
Now the point is an infinite line,
Intersecting with only time.
The power is now in my mind,
To feel more love & affection for the right kind!
I am not sixteen you see,
yet I know how I used to be.
I can still be the fearless SHE,
I just stop myself from feeling ME.
If I feel HER anymore,
I will again be wild & free.
Life will become easy,
That’s not an adult life you see.
You need sufferings to understand the psychology,
To feel the pain & hurt more than guilty.
To live as an adult & keep remembering,
What it feels like, to be sixteen.