Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

How To Be Unhappy

A detailed guide with 5 proven scientific theories and facts!

Unhappiness is the reason for our meaningful existence. It is the addiction of the hour. If you’re not unhappy once in a while, are you even living right? Yes, you! You need to ask yourself today, “Am I unhappy enough?, What will people think if I am only happy!? Like I have reasons to be happy? Won’t they judge me for not having to struggle with anxiety, fear, toxic relationships? What should I be doing to be unhappier?”……

Your problem has a tarunified solution. Intrigued enough ? Enlightening you today with some on-point, experienced, well researched, tried & tested methods to be unhappy.

1. The Overthink-Tank

This method was developed 2,000 years ago (supposedly) by a Russian Psychologist named Taakldjdskfs Rukewgfjbsdov. (Yeah, I can’t pronounce it either. It’s like somebody just typed random alphabets! Poor kid!) The Overthink-Tank was created by keeping the heart, soul, body, mind and spirit of human being together, to be controlled all at once by a magical tool called Assumption. This tool is used in different forms in various subjects like mathematics, physics, literature & life. Mr. Rukewgfjbsdov used it in Life, as mathematics, physics and literature weren’t difficult enough for him to challenge his intelligence! So what he did was to sit still in isolation, in dark mostly and analyse a situation that had happened 5 years ago in his life and think about it over and over and over until he start doubting everything about himself.

There is another way he mentioned where the tool of assumption works best in the overthink tank – It is to think about a situation in your life right now, take any scenario and assume the worst out of it (it can be future or present, but won’t work on past case scenarios, past is useless in the overthink tank. Future is proven to be the best). So once you’ve assumed the best, worst case scenario, you have entered the overthink tank. You won’t want to come out of it once you enjoy the unhappiness it causes.

2. The Dream-Destruction Theory

This sounds destructive (because it is called that! jeeezz!). The dream-destruction theory was developed by someone we don’t know, but, it states that, “Any person who has dreams shall not follow them until that person is stuck doing something they don’t want to do.” Moreover, the kid wanted to say, DON’T FOLLOW YOUR HEART. FOLLOW YOUR PARENTS/FRIENDS. Basically, become a sheep.

This theory can be practised in various forms, but it should start on early in life. The reasons you can take to follow this theory can be – Not having enough skills, not having money, parents not supporting you, procrastinating, not working hard enough and so on. These reasons are scientifically proven to destruct any dream goal you have. Another way to attain unhappiness!!

3. The ‘Giving-A-Damn’ Potion

There was once this lady in around the 1400s and she was the spy of the neighbourhood. One day, she met another lady and they met a man and they all met another man and they formed a gang and called themselves, “4 Log” (4 People)…. Hence, started the wrath of the 4 log gang everywhere!!! Parents used their name to scare their children, Teenagers committed suicide in their name, women sacrificed and tolerated worst things for their sake. They became a Legend. People started following them like blind. But what was the secret? How so quickly, they became gods to their fellow humans?

It was “The Giving-A-Damn” Potion. the 4 log gang created a potion mixing up ingredients like – gossip, hatred, jealousy, negative vibes, envy and made people drink it…….. Rest. Is. History. You can find that potion anywhere these days, it’s an accessible and extremely effective method to be unhappy.

4. The Drama Leaks Summit

The Drama Leaks Summit happens in every few months with people having maximum number of gossips and toxic people in life. In the summit, all the gossip kings and queens get together and surround the person with “who’s who/what” proposals. The person then looks for reasons in the proposal to be coming to this summit. Until the person finds none, the drama leaks summit goes on and the person remains stuck with drama and negativity, resulting in unhappiness. Science has proven this summit to be one of the most impactful event to be unhappy.

5. The Validation Task Force

The Validation Task Force, by the name of it, is the force that thrives inside us for approval of or by others. This task force gets into action every time we post something online or spend thousands on our appearances (for people who only care about themselves). The validation and approvals of strangers, friends, family or even a man who is already too-into-his-looks or a woman who posts-pictures-where-she-looks-the-best, are utter importance for this task force’s existence. Thus, resulting in fear, self-hate, more money spent and mental health issues, a.k.a. Unhappiness.

Here were the TOP 5 methods to be unhappy. You can share more in the comment section or email me.

P.S. The post is the writer’s imagination and has no real life significance whatsoever. If you somehow relate to it, well that’s on you.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.