mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Write

How To Understand Emotional Abuse: Mental Health Awareness

Disclaimer: If you’re going through a tough time, I suggest you take a break from the internet. Be safe and don’t over-think. Do deep breathing.

A friend shared this on Instagram:

I was blown away because amidst of all the talk about mental health awareness & suicide prevention, I haven’t seen anyone address this! The emotional abuse that triggers mental distress in the first place! I thank the person who made this and gave me a point to point out, with reasoning & facts, that how in daily life, we may trigger mental distress or how we are being emotionally abused.


Understanding Emotional Abuse

To give you context & I am sure you guys will relate to these instances on some level. A person, who forces you to not talk to any of your friends or is over possessive is Emotional Abuse. A person, forcing their decisions on you and YOU, out of love are happily accepting them is Self Emotional Abuse. You can say ‘NO’, yet, you can’t. The toxic relationships we know are toxic because of ABUSE. The toxic friendships are into existing because of Mental Distress. You don’t like the place where you work, because the people are emotionally distressing you without even knowing.

Comedian Zakir Khan said in one of his stand-ups, “Fun is because of people, the place doesn’t matter. We need people. Our people. We’ll be fine even in hell.” That’s why relationships end, because the people don’t resonate with our emotional intelligence. Just like Intellectual Quotient (I.Q.), there is an Emotional Quotient (E.Q.) in us as well. The higher the E.Q., the more you are emotionally aware about your behaviours and decisions in life. It’s simply can be understood as ‘Self-Awareness’.

You might have noticed that some people have fewer friends, some people are introverts, some people who are extroverts, choose to be ‘Selective Extroverts’ because their E.Q. is high and they know what & who can emotionally distress them, so they are open to their circle of people. That doesn’t mean that introverts are highly self-aware, some aren’t, yet, it is believed, they mostly are as they spend most of their time with themselves.

The LIFE ADVISORY BOARD, also known as Life Coaches, often suggest for us to spend some ALONE TIME. Reason is simple- Self Awareness. The more you spend time with yourself, the more you’ll get to know yourself. Initially, it’s hard because it’s exhausting, can be lonely and can cause depression & anxiety, yet, the silver lining is that once you start living with yourself, you’ll understand what’s good for you and what’s not. Who’s right for you to be in your life and who’s not. I’ve always suggested ‘Journaling’ as one of the best practices to become self-aware. It’s one of the best methods to understand our emotional sides.

When it comes to emotional abuse, I am sure when we over-think, over-work, over-pamper someone or even over- agree with people we over-care about, we feel anxious, tired, caged or trapped, respectively. Those are the initial signs of emotional abuse. So, another method to say NO to emotional abuse is also to learn to say ‘NO’. Consent is not meant ‘just for sex, it’s also meant for other things in life. Like YOURSELF. The decisions in YOUR life, should be YOURS. The space YOU want for YOURSELF, should be there. The break YOU need from people, shouldn’t be misunderstood.

It’s not just Self-Love or Self-Care. It’s YOUR LIFE and YOU need peace of mind, heart and soul to live it well and to be happy. And we all know, We can’t make people we love happy, if we ourselves aren’t. So, for your own sake, take a stand for yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human.


The Power Of “Standing-Up”

Apart from getting a head rush, there goes a lot of thinking into standing up & standing up for yourself. (Lame jokes are allowed in serious articles). Amidst of the pandemic, so many personal issues have surfaced, which were being either ignored or were invisible to a layman’s eyes. Mental Health being the top on that list resulting in suicides, domestic violence & more.

In India, 77 % cases of domestic violence have been reported, which is way more than they used to. Social Media have had an extra impact in this regard. It’s sad and outrageous that it’s happening, but it’s commendable that people are standing up for others and for themselves. People refuse ill treatment which is a strong message for everyone and the power of standing up. This power doesn’t only makes us stronger, it makes the society a better society in whole. When people support each other, incredible things happen, so if you notice any form of abuse around you – Speak Up.


What Can We Do

Just like I have been trying to finish this article for a week, slow and steady, we get to the finish line. All we need, is a little push. We can make this world a better place, not just by earning enough, but by lifting each other up as well.

As the pandemic has shown us, how much we need to work on ourselves personally, we can start with being more compassionate and kind with each other. Kindness is the best gift to be given and we all can be kind, it’s not something you learn to be, it’s something you’re born with. Embrace it. Not everyone can be an empath but everyone can be kind. Just being nice to people is good enough. Be nice, smile at people, if you see someone crying in public, hug them or talk to them. You don’t know, but your ONE kind gesture makes a HUGE difference in someone’s life.

Let’s be kind everyday and grow together.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

The Evil Side


My heart skips a beat,

I think too much I believe..

I fall easily but someone picks me up.

Every time I lose control,

Or give up,

Someone tells me I am badass enough.


It tells me to groan on people,

The ones who get under my skin.

It tells me to scream & shout,

At the ones, who do the same at me.

I feel, I like IT..

I like for IT to be around.

IT keeps me sane & sound.

IT helps me say NO &

Takes me for a ride in the side I’d enjoy more.


This side of me, only want the best for me,

Unlike the angelic one, 

That thinks about others before me..

The one that makes me feel the pain of others,

That can hurt me to make others happy..

That side of me, Not want the best for me,

But the best for people around me….

Whose side should I be on?

It’s a dilemma, to be an angel or to stay with evil,

To Let Go or to Keep Holding On with the devil,

To say what I’m truly feeling,

Or to think about other’s healings…


To be an angel, 

I’ll have to be more energetic with positivity.

It requires more effort and transparency.

This side wants me to put aside,

Every pain on the side, &

Take in some more with a smile..

It’s exhausting and overwhelming,

It’s boring and unworthy to be an angel.

Yet, It’s the dominating one, 

Between the twins, that are non-identical…


Yet, To be an evil,

Is fun & entertaining..

To laugh on someone is easy & containing..

To be selfish & say the bad words out loud,

To choose the evil, is too choose your true hound…

What’s hard is to suppress this side,

To choose the angel in disguise.

To suppress the evil is equally exhausting,

As to live with angelic behaviour..

In the world of evil & negatives on the loose,

The angel is the saviour,

To be evil is not a choice, but natural..

Yet, to choose angel is to be brutal…

On us, & not on other’s,

Angel in me wants what’s best for the world…

Don’t we all?


Thanks for reading. Namaste.

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Thought Of The Day

Being judgemental is part of being human. Yet, being understanding is part of being a good human.

Art, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Write

Thought Of The Day

I read somewhere, “The one who plants a tree, knowing he won’t be present to sit in it’s shade, understands the meaning of life.” And that hit me hard! 💕👣 #tarunified

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Society, Uncategorized, Write

Why People Bully: A Choice Without An Option

It should be talked about more & I have decided to use my writing voice for the good.

There are different reasons why people bully, including:

  • wanting to dominate others and improve their social status
  • having low self-esteem
  • having a lack of remorse or failing to recognise their behaviour as a problem
  • feeling angry or frustrated
  • struggling socially
  • being the victim of bullying themselves

Source: Health Direct


These are all psychological reasons because of which, people ruin other people, psychologically! How can we let science justify that? This can be debatable, that people suffering themselves make others suffer? Yet, I don’t see anything debatable in that sentence! I have heard so many stories where people who got bullied, suffered from a mental illness, throughout their lives because of it. Yet, they never bullied anyone, because they understand the consequences. So, there is something more wrong with people bullying others.

Just the other day I was talking to some friends, reminiscing school days. We asked each other , if we ever bullied someone. I couldn’t recall anything, but I am sure in one way or the other, I must’ve said some ‘inappropriate’ words to some friends. But there’s no justification for that. Of course, we call names with friends, it’s basic friendly gesture, but I am sure that in one way or the other, we have bullied others and have been bullied ourselves! But how do we know?


Types of BULLY:

Source: National Centre Against Bullying, Australia

Physical bullying

Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, pinching and pushing or damaging property.  Physical bullying causes both short term and long term damage. 

Verbal bullying

Verbal bulling includes name calling, insults, teasing, intimidation, homophobic or racist remarks, or verbal abuse. While verbal bullying can start off harmless, it can escalate to levels which start affecting the individual target.

Social bullying

Social bullying, sometimes referred to as covert bullying, is often harder to recognise and can be carried out behind the bullied person’s back.  It is designed to harm someone’s social reputation and / or cause humiliation.

Social bullying can include:

  • lying and spreading rumours
  • negative facial or physical gestures, menacing or contemptuous looks
  • playing nasty jokes to embarrass and humiliate
  • mimicking unkindly
  • encouraging others to social exclude someone
  • damaging someone’s social reputation or social acceptance.

Cyber bullying

The Cyber Bullying Research Centre defines cyber bullying as:  Intentional and repeated harm inflicted through the use of computers, phones, and other electronic devices.

Cyber bullying can be overt or covert bullying behaviours using digital technologies including hardware such as computers and smartphones, and software such as social media, instant messaging, texts, websites and other online platforms.

Cyber bullying can happen at any time. It can be in public or in private and sometimes only known to the target and the person bullying.

Cyber bullying can include:

  • abusive or hurtful texts, emails or posts, images or videos
  • deliberately excluding others online
  • nasty gossip or rumours
  • imitating others online or using their log-in.

Are You A Bully?

I haven’t change a word from the website for ‘Types Of Bullies’. The website described it quite well, and I am hoping it is pretty clear to you after reading it, if you’re a bully or not. I am sure, we’ve all been a Verbal or a Social Bully, even if we admit it or not. We have called names, teased people, made fun of them based on their height, weight, skin colour or life choices even. It may be friendly, if you want to justify, but you cannot. Some people are stronger and these things doesn’t affect them as much a it does to others. To the ones this affects the most, are your fellow human beings, who have been suffering because of us and we can stop their sufferings. But there are other types of bullies, the website didn’t mention, but it happens everyday.

Other Types Of Bullying, That Proves We’re All Bullies

There is no one in particular that describes enough to prove that we’re all bullies. But I am determined to address and stop.

Remember when we talked about ‘that girl’ being ‘fatter’ or ‘that guy’ being ‘gay’ or spread rumours about someone having an affair. Even judging someone by things we’ve heard from someone else?

Have you seen ‘Gossip Girl’? Or read the books? Gossip Girl is a 6 Season Crash Course of ‘How To Be A Bully’.

Gossip is a type of bully that is being used for ages and I know, I can say all I want, but it will never stop. But, the least we can do, is stop the rumours and trash-talk about people based on the things they cannot control. Let’s start today. Now.


Have You Been Bullied?

I am sure you have. When you were called out for being too skinny, too tall, too fat, too short, too dark, too fair, too extroverted or too introverted, too friendly, or too arrogant. Need I say more? But how does it affect us?

Self-Doubt: We doubt ourselves and our lives because of it. We doubt if there’s something wrong with us, when in fact, it’s the person calling you out who’s wrong.

Negative Thoughts: We can think through out, but only negative ones. When we’re bullied, our positive approach to things is diminished to none. Inspite of knowing, that it’s not us, it’s them.

Abandoning Social Flowers: We reduce social interactions and stop watering relationships that can grow for good. Not because we don’t want to, but bullying comes with a price & you feel like we don’t have a friend anymore. All we have, are bullies.

When we’re bullied, we can face consequences through out our lives. If we are strong, then we forget easily, but if it effects the core of our strength, mainly the core of our existence, we become scarred for life. Those scars haunt us everyday and we’re not even responsible for them!

This is a part, where I should tell you – stop bullying and don’t get bullied yourself. Don’t punish others for your miseries, make better friendships that can help & live with a more kind, positive approach to life and others. BUT. I won’t say it. It’s upto you.

It’s a choice without an option.

NOTE: I won’t mention animal bullying. You’re smart enough.