Being judgemental is part of being human. Yet, being understanding is part of being a good human.
I was drowning into the darkness,
And I saw this light, right into my eyes.
It was blinding, yet, invisible.
It wasn’t the sun, nor the lost star.
It was you, a frightening scar.
You made such promises of now and then.
I wished us forever, but you liked to pretend.
Was I wrong, that I longed for a real thing?
No, you were right,
The queen is better off without the king.
The truths are lies, within the moment and after,
We make promises for the future,
But we keep them only in the last chapter.
Part of me still asks all the right questions,
Another part just scoffs and shuts off the assumptions.
I don’t say this to anyone,
I don’t tell them, I’m hurt.
I don’t show my sorrow,
To them, it’s invisible.
Oh wait, to you it’s invisible as well,
I forgot, how you enjoy this trend.
Of me staying in your life, with everything you like,
And you staying in and out, as per your strikes.
But, I am done. I was, a long time ago.
Just didn’t sent you a postcard,
It’s better as a surprise.
Hope you like it, just how much I did,
The look on your face, is exactly how I imagined.
I did, what was right,
But why does it hurt me back, how?
This sorrow still exists,
It’s invisible to even me now!
I don’t accept it somehow,
It has to go away,
If it doesn’t, who’ll know anyway,
I didn’t deserve this.
Neither did you.
But we’re left with a nothingness,
Never to be finished,
Or to reach a destination.
Senses are boycotting every essence of your being.
I can’t tell them otherwise either.
I know I didn’t deserve this.
The heart is heavier than ever.
May be scared to let go of the love & the anger.
But you know that I am tired of both these feelings.
I just want peace and some healings.
Just leave me right here,
Leave me by the storm,
To me, it’s like a home.
I feel calm, buried in my thoughts,
Even if they bury me further into the darkness.
I accept my fate and have the faith,
I know I can come out of the devil heart.
The darkness is drowning me further into the game.
Either I’ll win, or I’ll lose it, all over again.
I’d say yes, you’re right.
Pain a friend so tight.
Never leaves my side,
Just seems invisible at times!
The feeling lost once in a while,
The longing for love in mind,
The knowing, love hurts in the heart,
It all plays a part.
Though, not having anyone,
Still feeling pain inside,
Means pain is a friend so tight.
Tired of love, giving so much,
& receiving none.
Makes me wonder ,
If love is even the question to be answered!
There’s so much in life to be conquered.
Yet, Love is what makes us wander!
Is love the enemy after all the slumber?
Is Love the nemesis, I should stay away from?
It fills heart with false hope, which isn’t right,
Pain is the friend after all this time!
Letting go of feelings, takes courage & will.
Loving more than they deserve takes cowardice & skill!
Pain at every step, warns to reassure!
To watch what we’re doing & feeling so pure!
Love is the poison to brainwash the giver.
To make the receiver, a king & a schemer.
To play with heart, feelings & life,
Love teaches to destroy the kind!
Love is the actual villain that we fail to find.
It is Pain, that is our friend in disguise.
Disclaimer: All the words written below are the writer’s personal thoughts and experience-based curations. They’re solely aimed towards personal/self-awareness & growth.
I have been told that love hurts. That love gives nothing but pain. That love is the antidote of nothing but happiness! I disagree to agree though! I have been in love and it’s been a beautiful journey. Clearly, it feels like a heartbreak, which it is. But it’s also a trigger towards my growth. Am I the only one who has seen movies that portray the post break-up success story? I am sure you must’ve seen some of them! Anyway, that’s not how it works in real life!
In real life, you’re waking up to hurt and going to sleep hurt. Everything you see, do, eat, read hurts. The only pain relief is a text or a call from the heart-breaker! But, WAKE UP! It ain’t going to happen. It’s not necessary for the one you love, to love you back! You can’t force someone to love you & you sure can’t control their heart when it gets distracted by someone else! So, How do we understand a heartbreak when we can’t understand love?
This is a tricky one. Can anyone ever understand love after all? With so much advancements in the world, we can at least give it a try! I write a lot about love, but that doesn’t mean that I understand love better than anyone else. What is MY definition for love is way different than yours. Love is an individual emotion. Billions of beings on this planet feel it in billion ways. All I can say is that LOVE IS IMMORTAL. Once you love someone, you can’t un-love them. It has its beauty & beast-ness in it, but it works.
Loving someone for a long time can be exhausting if they don’t reciprocate. What we should focus on is SELF GROWTH. And How Does Love Helps In Growth, read HERE.
It’s okay to love someone and still not like them!
All we need is to learn how to channel our emotions into the right direction and we’ll deal with our heartbreak like a rockstar!
As they portray in the movies that a heartbreak has its phases. But before we get into those, we must understand the difference between a break-up & a Heartbreak, because a heartbreak is NOT necessarily taken as a break-up.
Difference between a Break-up & a Heartbreak
A Break-up is when two individuals mutually decide to end a commitment (emotional or professional) because its not working out. A break-up is also a type of heartbreak as it hurts the same way, but not vice-versa.
A heartbreak is when one of the two individuals wants to leave the commitment and other doesn’t. Another type of heartbreak is when the one individual is interested in another individual and the commitment or feelings aren’t mutual and the former gets rejected by the latter or the love-interest. It is also known as Unrequited Love. To know more about Unrequited Love, read this – The Truth About Unrequited Love.
Phases of a Heartbreak
Phase #1 : DENIAL
This is the initial level of a break up or a heart break. In this phase, the person with a broken heart is denying the truth that the relationship is finally over. The person may consider it as a big-fight and will still cling on to patching up with the ex-partner.
This is a difficult phase, but with self-awareness, good friends & self-love, one can pass it and move on to the next phase.
Phase #2 : HOPE
I know how it feels to have a false hope of something happening, & to not let go! Life becomes scary without that hope. Letting go seems impossible. The hope, that they will come back to you. The hope, that they’ll love you back. One text, call or even a like from them on your post triggers that hope & the cycle goes on. The minute you decide to let the hope die, it will find it’s way of coming back to you. Beware when it does.
Whenever that hope comes, remember, it’s not HOPE, it’s just a text, a call or a like. It means NOTHING. There you go, to the next phase!
Phase #3 : REALISATION
This is the most important phase of a heartbreak because of 2 reasons.
One- It consists of letting go of denial & hope, the first two phases -together.
Two- It takes you to the main part of becoming emotionally independent.
This phase makes you realise why the commitment ended and why it is a good thing that it did. You finally see all the red-flags and toxic elements you have been ignoring for too long. You realise that it’s a good thing that they did what they did & you’re better off without them.
After we cross the phases of the heartbreak, we enter a whole new perspective about, life, love & ourselves. We accept that, as Oscar Wilde said, “Heart Was Meant To Be Broken”. But Washington Irving also said, “Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”…..
So, It becomes our choice how we perceive the heartbreak. An opportunity to grow or to drown in the pain!
To Deal With A Heartbreak
There is abundance of “how to get over someone”, ” how to move on after a break-up” posts, all over the internet. This is NONE of those!
This post is intended for you to understand the hurt of your heartbreak, so that you can channelise those feelings into something better for yourself. Just don’t hold your feelings inside your heart, it will get wrecked.
Let’s deal with the heartbreak, shall we!
Method #1 : CRY IT OUT
As much as I am a fan of laughter and humour, I also support crying once in a while. It lightens our mind and lets out the stress. So, if you feel like crying. CRY.
Method #2 : CREATE
When I say ‘Channelise your feelings’, I mean CREATE. Like I started writing as the result of some negative emotions I had. I couldn’t do anything about them, so I started pouring them down into words & hence, Writing has become a part of me. I also created my podcast because of the things I was unable to say. Most of the artists do this. They CREATE through their emotions. Try it.
Method #3 : TALK ABOUT IT OR LAUGH ABOUT IT!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t share my deepest thoughts with anyone but my writing but sometimes its good to talk about the things that are bothering you. It gives you a chance to look at a situation from someone else’s perspective which you’re too hurt to see on your own. When your best friend tells you, “Tell Me Everything”, They say so to help you in ways no one else can. SO TALK. Also, there are so many memes about heartbreak and crushes that can give you a good laugh in a tense moment and make you realise- YOU AREN’T ALONE.
Method #4 : FORGIVE, FORGET & FIND YOURSELF
Forgive the ones who did you wrong. They’re only human.
Forget the pain , the hurt & the loss.
Find Yourself by learning from the past, working in the present without thinking about the future.
There can be more methods to deal with a heartbreak, but I personally feel, you can only deal with pain & get over it, if YOU want to. Moreover, If you are able to follow these methods, you can deal with any pain or hurt in your way. So,
Accept it. Learn from it. Move On.
Thanks for reading. Namaste.
I saw it. The way you looked at her.
I knew it. You would never look at me that way.
It took a while to let that sink in. Now it has.
Let’s get to reality, shall we.
I won’t like your pictures anymore.
Not even if you still look the most handsome man.
I won’t click on your name and read our chats again.
Because whenever I read our texts, I see only I, Me & Myself.
You’re there for pity & to save your back up plan!!!
No, I am not going to be your backup anymore.
Especially when I am not even a prior friend.
I won’t talk to you, ever. Even if you call, i’ll be as formal as I can be.
Even if it means to be rude & blimey on your part.
As, I am not that crazy-wild girl anymore. Not to you.
Not the girl you used to know!
I am not in love with you now.
Even if I feel something with just your thought.
That doesn’t mean love. It means my ego has taken over your name.
I am not going to text or call you ever.
No more swallowing my pride for the love that exists only inside me.
You were nice to me. But now you just don’t care.
That hurts you know!!!
Someone loving you so much & you loving just yourself!
Well, I shouldn’t be angry at you.
It’s not your fault that I fell for you!
But I am going to be angry at you, because I need to heal.
You see, I have to be angry & hate you for not loving me.
The love needs to be transformed into pride & ego.
It’s the only way I can let you go……
Your hopeless hope ,
Told me today, that you’re a foe.
You don’t care now I know,
I am angry & sad,
Not at you but on myself.
I believed you’re my love,
I just realised you’re not the one.
Love shouldn’t hurt like this,
Lovers are partners & not strangers that we know!
I hate to admit, I was wrong.
I took this where it never was,
Think, how much love I could have caused,
Yet, I am the reason why it’s SOMETHING,
When it was nothing at all!
I thought I could turn this around,
Make you love me & show you to the world.
But your refusal disappointed me every time,
Your fear was more powerful than your mind.
It felt like you just murdered my heart,
Like a newborn becomes an orphan!
With no fault of my own,
You hypnotised me into your soul,
But no more!
I am wide & awake,
I know it’s all fake.
I realised you’re not the one,
Because you’ve hurt me more than I deserved!
What I deserve, is to be a priority.
I forgive you anyway.
I am free & so are you. So it’s okay,
I am letting this go,
I finally breathe fresh air, on my own.
You’re not latching on my heart anymore,
I now have the control ,
Of my mind & soul.
Now, right has been done.
My Love, you’re not the one.
The world have begun to end,
I still wait for you. Again.
Still. My heart & my soul,
You don’t show up anymore.
I won’t move ahead until you do,
Without your heart, my heart remains in two.
I forget everyday what you said.
I only care about myself.
I love you for who you’ve been,
You don’t love me for even my possibilities!
I don’t care about that either.
I care about you & I being together.
Sometimes, I want to snatch you away,
Even if you want it or not.
I want to keep you safe, just in my arms.
Even if you beg, cry and plead for freedom,
I feel like I won’t let you go,
Not until you give me all of YOU.
Okay, Let’s be real now,
I am not going to do anything like that! Wow!!
You really thought my love is so cynical & wrong?
I love you now and will love you forever,
Yet, I love myself & I understand how life goes.
I am saddened by the thought of you not loving me,
But I still wait for you because of the “What if” & “May Be”……
Taruni Sharma is a content creator in the entertainment field. She is a writer & being interested in human psychology & life’s philosophy (& because of being too emotional), she loves writing poetry & prose about love, life, self & personal development. Stay in touch by following her Blog, Instagram, Twitter, Spotify Podcast, Linkedin, Youtube & Quora.
Do you still miss me?
He asked me in a dream. I couldn’t say no.
Because I missed him more than I missed me.
He left without the love I have in my heart.
That love still rots with my soul.
It feels fresh but rots like it’s old.
The wind still blows, the breath is still going on,
The pain is now a habit like it was before.
Left with no choice of my own,
I sunk everyday in the ocean of my choking tone…
Pretending is my day job now,
Tears are my night time moans.
I fought for a long time.
Fought for my own peace of mind.
Fought with myself and with time, as it heals everything,
I thought it would heal my broken heart & free me from this crime!
The crime I commit every second,
To love him & lose myself to the man I lost without reason.
Or may be there was a reason,
That my love was too much to bear,
And for me, he had none to share.
Don’t be fooled though, I know he cares.
There’s no point, yet, it’s something to despair.
And so, just like that, I accepted the truth.
The truth, that there’s no un-loving once you fall in love that’s true.
It’s okay. I have accepted that I will remain in love for eternity.
I know how to handle it with tranquility.
I will pretend in the day and face it all at night.
I will think about him in my daydreams and will go on with my life……