mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

She Wanted To Live Alone

For three long years, she lived alone. Away from friends, family and herself… On some days she met people. Colleagues, friends on rare weekends and family on more rare ones. She’d always wanted to live on her own. To experience the taste of independence. She’d found out so much about herself and life altogether. She even made friends with nature, craft, art, anxiety & depression. Some days were amazing, full of light but on some days, darkness never stopped.

She tried damn hard to fight with her inner demons, with loneliness and with herself, but mostly it never worked. Then, she started to journal her thoughts, her dark feelings and how much she hated living alone. Though, she couldn’t talk about it with anyone. Because whenever she met someone, they all used to say the same thing, “Wow!! You live alone? That’s awesome man!”… No it’s not. After a point, it’s the worst thing ever.

Things got better after two years. Depression was kind of over but anxiety was at its peak. Anxiety attacks were as frequent as salon visits. But she kept quiet, put a smile on her face, everyday. No one knew what she was going through. No one knows. She just wrote in her diary. Sometimes talked to her best friends, who helped her through it.

Whenever her parents used to visit, she never mentioned her battles of the heart, soul and mind. Inspite of having such amazing people in her life, she just couldn’t talk about it! She used laugh with people, who laughed at her because she felt bad for living alone. “You are sad, cause you live alone? That’s not a reason to be depressed, you’re just overthinking.”

Nobody knows what it feels like, until it happens with them. Loneliness can do the worst things to a person, tree or an animal. If you plant a tree in an isolated field without any other trees or plants, it’ll die. If you leave a dog alone in the park, it’ll go crazy and so will a human. And on most days, she did die and then lived the next.

It was the beginning of the year 2020 and she was alright. She moved in with her parents in April. She was thrilled that she didn’t have to live alone anymore. She didn’t have to worry about dying from some imaginary disease. She could just sleep all day now. This went on or five months. She was extremely content and happy for living with her parents.

One day, her parents had to go out of town for a few days but she didn’t want to go. She thought, this could be a nice chance to recharge my ‘loner’ self. She wanted to live alone. Because whenever she’d go to another city, she needs to be prepared for it. So her parents left and she was occupied in work. Until afternoon, she didn’t do much. She felt this heaviness in her head. It wasn’t a headache. But the head was drowning, it felt like.

As being a self-aware human, she tried contemplating the reasons behind it. Less sleep – Yes. Eyes Strain- Yes. Too much brain work- Yes. All these reasons are totally normal to feel heavy-headed. But her conclusion was this – I feel this uneasiness – not just in my head but in my whole body. I don’t feel like doing anything. I feel tired and uncomfortable. This is all because after living alone for three long years, I had the best time last five months and now I am alone again. It’s all the side-effect of loneliness… It has creeped in once again, within a few hours of activation!

All she can think now is, how dangerous it is that as much she hates living alone, but loves living with parents but hates living with anyone else but her parents, she’s doomed forever!


mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Write

How To Understand Emotional Abuse: Mental Health Awareness

Disclaimer: If you’re going through a tough time, I suggest you take a break from the internet. Be safe and don’t over-think. Do deep breathing.

A friend shared this on Instagram:

I was blown away because amidst of all the talk about mental health awareness & suicide prevention, I haven’t seen anyone address this! The emotional abuse that triggers mental distress in the first place! I thank the person who made this and gave me a point to point out, with reasoning & facts, that how in daily life, we may trigger mental distress or how we are being emotionally abused.


Understanding Emotional Abuse

To give you context & I am sure you guys will relate to these instances on some level. A person, who forces you to not talk to any of your friends or is over possessive is Emotional Abuse. A person, forcing their decisions on you and YOU, out of love are happily accepting them is Self Emotional Abuse. You can say ‘NO’, yet, you can’t. The toxic relationships we know are toxic because of ABUSE. The toxic friendships are into existing because of Mental Distress. You don’t like the place where you work, because the people are emotionally distressing you without even knowing.

Comedian Zakir Khan said in one of his stand-ups, “Fun is because of people, the place doesn’t matter. We need people. Our people. We’ll be fine even in hell.” That’s why relationships end, because the people don’t resonate with our emotional intelligence. Just like Intellectual Quotient (I.Q.), there is an Emotional Quotient (E.Q.) in us as well. The higher the E.Q., the more you are emotionally aware about your behaviours and decisions in life. It’s simply can be understood as ‘Self-Awareness’.

You might have noticed that some people have fewer friends, some people are introverts, some people who are extroverts, choose to be ‘Selective Extroverts’ because their E.Q. is high and they know what & who can emotionally distress them, so they are open to their circle of people. That doesn’t mean that introverts are highly self-aware, some aren’t, yet, it is believed, they mostly are as they spend most of their time with themselves.

The LIFE ADVISORY BOARD, also known as Life Coaches, often suggest for us to spend some ALONE TIME. Reason is simple- Self Awareness. The more you spend time with yourself, the more you’ll get to know yourself. Initially, it’s hard because it’s exhausting, can be lonely and can cause depression & anxiety, yet, the silver lining is that once you start living with yourself, you’ll understand what’s good for you and what’s not. Who’s right for you to be in your life and who’s not. I’ve always suggested ‘Journaling’ as one of the best practices to become self-aware. It’s one of the best methods to understand our emotional sides.

When it comes to emotional abuse, I am sure when we over-think, over-work, over-pamper someone or even over- agree with people we over-care about, we feel anxious, tired, caged or trapped, respectively. Those are the initial signs of emotional abuse. So, another method to say NO to emotional abuse is also to learn to say ‘NO’. Consent is not meant ‘just for sex, it’s also meant for other things in life. Like YOURSELF. The decisions in YOUR life, should be YOURS. The space YOU want for YOURSELF, should be there. The break YOU need from people, shouldn’t be misunderstood.

It’s not just Self-Love or Self-Care. It’s YOUR LIFE and YOU need peace of mind, heart and soul to live it well and to be happy. And we all know, We can’t make people we love happy, if we ourselves aren’t. So, for your own sake, take a stand for yourself. It doesn’t make you selfish, it makes you human.


The Power Of “Standing-Up”

Apart from getting a head rush, there goes a lot of thinking into standing up & standing up for yourself. (Lame jokes are allowed in serious articles). Amidst of the pandemic, so many personal issues have surfaced, which were being either ignored or were invisible to a layman’s eyes. Mental Health being the top on that list resulting in suicides, domestic violence & more.

In India, 77 % cases of domestic violence have been reported, which is way more than they used to. Social Media have had an extra impact in this regard. It’s sad and outrageous that it’s happening, but it’s commendable that people are standing up for others and for themselves. People refuse ill treatment which is a strong message for everyone and the power of standing up. This power doesn’t only makes us stronger, it makes the society a better society in whole. When people support each other, incredible things happen, so if you notice any form of abuse around you – Speak Up.


What Can We Do

Just like I have been trying to finish this article for a week, slow and steady, we get to the finish line. All we need, is a little push. We can make this world a better place, not just by earning enough, but by lifting each other up as well.

As the pandemic has shown us, how much we need to work on ourselves personally, we can start with being more compassionate and kind with each other. Kindness is the best gift to be given and we all can be kind, it’s not something you learn to be, it’s something you’re born with. Embrace it. Not everyone can be an empath but everyone can be kind. Just being nice to people is good enough. Be nice, smile at people, if you see someone crying in public, hug them or talk to them. You don’t know, but your ONE kind gesture makes a HUGE difference in someone’s life.

Let’s be kind everyday and grow together.

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

The Frenemies


If you’re feeling uneasy with the title,

That’s on you. 

You aren’t a good friend really.

You’re selfish, aren’t you?

You want my support & in return,

You leave with a fake smile.

You’re fake, aren’t you?

You show your support,

Just for show..

But you’re jealous somehow.

You’re not my friend, are you?

If so, why do you make me uncomfortable,

Is it because you want me to OBEY you,

Or is it because you don’t like me as incharge?


So many friends at hand,

Yet, so little support…

Some show it,

Unlike other’s, who’re just for show…

Jealous of the courage I sow,

Hatred for themselves, they can’t reap it off me.

Energy vampires, suck up all the good vibes,

And here I thought, you were from my tribe!


May be I was wrong somewhere too.

Disappointed you,

But know, I didn’t mean to.

From where I see it,

I did nothing wrong.

Your toxicity is your own song…

I thought I was blessed enough ,

To have such friends.

Little did I know, 

You were here to make some amends…


No more of your lies & fake support,

I don’t need to entertain you anymore.

You’re on your own,

So am I.

We’re not friends, we never were.

We’re people,

 Who just need each others energies to survive.

You’re not the friend I need in my life,

But I am the one, you do.

Sorry not sorry honey,

Being your frenemy is not, what I am looking for….


Thanks for reading..

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

A Dream World

I wish to live in the world,

Where I am my only judge.

A world so free,

That my demons leave me…..

I wish to empower,

Myself & my beauty…

Only, in that dream world,

I’ll get my due for my silent duty….


I wish to live in the land of NOT men,

Or women,

But Human.

I wish in that world, I am beautiful.

That world would give me validation.

More than I ever needed…..

In that world, I won’t have to prove,

I won’t have to dread,

I won’t have to be so needy.

For in that world,

I would be alone, free & happy.


I wish to live in the world ,

Where I feel ME & my demons feel trapped.

A world, where my mind is in my grasp.

A world where the world is nothing more,

Than an imagination…

A world of peace, a fantasy and

A result of a tiresome abomination.


I want to go to that world,

Where my heart doesn’t ache.

A world of love, not pain.

A world of empathy, not gain…

I wish I could create a world of my own,

Without violence and crimes.

I would create friendship that rhymes,

With life and soul to behold.

I would erase betrayal and horizon.

A world, where we walk on the sky and fly on land.

A world of fire to breathe and water to mend.


I wish to erase success in that world.

A world, where journey is a celebration.

I want to live in a world of laughter, tears of joy &

Hearts filled with love and admiration.

I’d call it My World,

Because nobody would tell me what to do.

Nobody would leave me,

And nobody would hurt me, or say they didn’t mean to!

My World would be an epitome of happiness.

A world where sorrow is the alien,

And heartbreak is not just another failure….

Where Love is a power and not a weakness,

Where power is not a privilege & is out of existence.

Yet, It’s better to not go there, we’ll be living in a mirror afar,

For in that world, life would flourish with broken hearts….


Thanks for reading. Namaste.

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

The POWER Of Wasting TIME

Listen – The Power Of Wasting Time

Disclaimer: I am not motivating you to waste your time and be sad about it later. I am telling you to take a break. Basically, I am telling you to waste your time in a more decent way, where you also learn things. I don’t know, keep reading .

Let’s get straight to the point. Who doesn’t like to just lie down, watch movies, read books and eat, sleep, repeat? Yet, our brain is trained to be productive. Our brain is active even when we’re asleep! Talk about being a workaholic! But we must not compete with the brain but with the zeal of it. Being a creative person is exhausting as it is. On top of that is being humongously productive! How can we cope with both, all the time! We need a break. A break to break the cycle of stress and brain-drainage.

You can break the glass ceiling, only when you’ve broken stress!

I have been trying to punish myself by worrying about not being able to create anything. Not with words, music or my podcast. Nothing. You can say, I am lacking inspiration or I am not motivated enough, procrastinating more ecetera ecetera. Yet, I am not going to let you tell me that. Nor should you tell this to yourself. You’re having none of those. You just need a break.

With break, I don’t mean a vacation and ditching social media. Firstly, vacation is impossible, for who knows how long and secondly, I don’t believe in a social media detox. Because in my opinion, it’s quite stupid. Not being aware of what’s going on in the world, especially in 2020, is your lacking as a human being. So, social media is a great way to learn things. But if you still need a detox, may be you aren’t using it the right way.

With break, I mean – Mental Break. A break where you worry less, think less and don’t force yourself either. Basically, waste time but with dignity.

How do we waste time with dignity?

Wasting time often includes- Daydreaming, sleeping more than required, watching movies, scrolling down to social media most of the day, eating more because you’re bored and doing nothing. But wait, are you really wasting your time?

Daydreaming? It’s a part of creative process, so you’re actually working.

Sleeping more? You haven’t slept like that in a long time, you deserve longer naps.

Watching movies & everything else? You’re forming new perspectives, learning about new topics and so, you’re collecting content.

Social Media Scrolls? You’re staying updated. Period.

Eating More? That’s a human need.

Doing Nothing? Your brain is recharging for more work , whenever you’re ready.

Now, with adding some more things, your wasting time becomes a power.

Reading- See, I know what you’re going to say! Reading is boring, it’s hard, I can’t concentrate blah blah blah!! Those are just excuses my friend. If you REALLY want to read, you’ll stop making excuses and start reading.

I read somewhere,

“If you don’t like reading, you just haven’t found the right book.”

Start finding the right book and read, sleep, eat, repeat.

Spending time with your heart- Meaning, do what makes you happy. Like for me, I read, sing, learn to play an instrument and spend time with friends and family (virtually). This makes me happy and the pressure of writing and creating becomes little. So, do what makes your heart sing.

Talk to more people- I have been talking to many new people on different social media platforms. Like the people, who I knew, but never got the chance to really know them. You know what it did? It made me more compassionate, empathetic and literally happy.

Because we’re all struggling with one thing or the other, it’s better to do it together. Right?

What happens when we waste time like that?

WE LIVE.

That’s the POWER of wasting time. It just helps us realise what’s important and that even with all the toxicity in the world, there is so much more to life & we just need to live it right to feel it.”

Thanks for reading. Namaste.

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Write

The Balance Of Good & Bad

I had a thought, to be bad,

It changed somehow, people were mad!

Why do they care if I choose for myself a tad?

I went all good though,

For the sake of my own stand.

Being good has been exhausting,

Yet, it feels bad when people misunderstand.

That makes even the good to turn bad.

I am tired of the fake nuance,

It’s not upto us to choose our trend.

Judgements are being forced,

Based on nothing but self created amends.

We become the victim of the wrath,

Of our own conundrum of good & bad!

We always battle between these two sides of us,

Whether to be good or bad,

often becomes a circus.

What we don’t know, is that it’s not to discuss,

We do good or bad, whatever’s needed from us.

The more we control, the more it gets worse,

If we are bad, there’s also good in us,

And when we’re good, there’s no denying of bad fuss.

Both exists to balance out the world,

One can’t survive without the other,

Or else it’ll be nothing but a mess.

Not all can be good, or bad all at once,

Everyone is fighting everyday,

With both sides to dictate their living terms.

Art, Love, mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

The Invisible Sorrow

I was drowning into the darkness,

And I saw this light, right into my eyes.

It was blinding, yet, invisible.

It wasn’t the sun, nor the lost star.

It was you, a frightening scar.

You made such promises of now and then.

I wished us forever, but you liked to pretend.

Was I wrong, that I longed for a real thing?

No, you were right,

The queen is better off without the king.

The truths are lies, within the moment and after,

We make promises for the future,

But we keep them only in the last chapter.

Part of me still asks all the right questions,

Another part just scoffs and shuts off the assumptions.

I don’t say this to anyone,

I don’t tell them, I’m hurt.

I don’t show my sorrow,

To them, it’s invisible.

Oh wait, to you it’s invisible as well,

I forgot, how you enjoy this trend.

Of me staying in your life, with everything you like,

And you staying in and out, as per your strikes.

But, I am done. I was, a long time ago.

Just didn’t sent you a postcard,

It’s better as a surprise.

Hope you like it, just how much I did,

The look on your face, is exactly how I imagined.

I did, what was right,

But why does it hurt me back, how?

This sorrow still exists,

It’s invisible to even me now!

I don’t accept it somehow,

It has to go away,

It’s inevitable.

If it doesn’t, who’ll know anyway,

it’s invisible.

Art, Love, mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Write

Quote Of The Day

When you’ve seen the worst, you can face the worst because it feels familiar and you know you’re stronger enough to defeat it but moreover, to live with it.

Art, Love, mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Relationships, Sarcasm, Society, Uncategorized, Write

Look At The Sky!

So brave & kind,

Awarding peace of mind..

The sunset pink, fading away in night blues,

Just like ‘my blues’, accepting truce..

The trees in focus, while the sky in the background,

It’s a nature’s canvas, just need to look around.

With every detail intact, yet messy,

Pink clouds and invisible sun, gifting solaces.

Famished for freedom, hope & love,

Look at the sky, it’s got it all.

Little birds, enjoying the flight,

On top of the world, I feel,

When I look at the sky…

I wish I could fly like these ravens,

I close my eyes, I can fly still in heavens..


There was none to disturb my peace,

No technology, no men to please.

Ruthless, I became fearless again,

I realised how peaceful it is without them!

Decided to let go of everyone in my head,

To the ones I loved, to me they’re dead.

Cruel, feministic, typical, say what may,

Free, independent, happy I say.

I smiled on my own, felt so beautiful,

What they’re saying, I don’t give a damn anymore.


Now, when I tell you the truth, believe,

It all wasn’t so easy to achieve.

Loneliness became a friend,

Made me feel everything like an amend.

Creativity became a trend,

I wrote & Kept to myself, took a stand.

Swallowed pride, pain, hurt & feelings,

Thought too much to find meanings.

Finally, the meanings came through,

“The power to burn the cages,

Is the power inside You”….

mental health, Personal Development, PSYCHOLOGY, Sarcasm, Society, Write

Looking For The Shadow – A Short Story (Part I)

Trench coat, leather boots, a hat- Teresa wore her favourite outfit and her usual attitude. A red-wine lipstick shade, or as the fancy folks call it – burgundy may be! I don’t know, I focus on the colour, not the name. Just like, how Teresa loves fame and not the reason behind. Leaving at 10.00 a.m. sharp, everyday to visit her best friends in the park. Although, they never leave her side, but she still finds a positive vibe with them in the park. She walked all the way to the bridge that connects two sides of the city. She stops in the mid of the bridge and walks towards the edge. Holding the railing, she gazes into the water and looks at her shadow. She laughs and then frowns, yet the shadow remains intact. She dances and the shadow moves. So she says to herself, “There’s no change in life until there’s no effort”. She scoffs and starts to walk again. She sits on her usual bench in the park, waiting for her best friends, or moreover ignoring them!

They’re exhausting actually. They make her feel so bad about herself! She hates everything about her life when she’s with them! They’re so popular and because of that she’s famous too!!! But they’ve been friends for so long, that she can’t seem to break it off! They’re the only interesting thing in her life after all. So she doesn’t care why she’s famous, but she is and that’s what matters most. She’s been waiting for a while, where are they? She looks around her, people are hanging out, exercising, kids playing and the lake seems cleaner than yesterday. That’s nice. Suddenly, she starts crying. Tears roll down her eyes, yet her face remains expressionless. As the tear drops on her finger, she looks down and sees the droplet. She then touches her face and realises, it’s her own tears!

“Alright, you’re here now”, she taunts. “I was waiting when you’d show up. Took a long time today.” Nobody notices her talking to herself! She doesn’t care about that now. Her friend’s finally here.

“I was thinking about how nice it is that the lake is cleaner than yesterday. I wish you wouldn’t show up just then, I was having a moment there”! No answer! But, who’s she brewing for answers?

Eight months ago, Teresa went to the same bridge she was walking on today and jumped into the river. It was a suicide attempt, luckily she survived. But unluckily for her, she survived! She was all over the news the next day – The Girl Who ALMOST Died. She was kept in the hospital for a week and then was transferred to rehab. Two weeks into it, a psychologist came to see her. To council her or may be understand why she jumped off the bridge! The session was scheduled for 90 minutes, but went on for five hours!

“My name is Abdul Smith”, the psychologist introduced himself. “Abdul? & Smith? well, that’s quite unusual”, Teresa attempted to turn things on to him. “It’s not unusual. It’s suicidal“, Abdul attempted his dark humour! Teresa remained quiet. Smith realised, his dark humour is now failing him! He needs to up his game, if he wants this girl to get to talking.

“How are you feeling today?”, he tried to lighten the mood. “Fine.” That’s it? Fine? No, ‘Bad Joke’, ‘Not Funny’! This is my first day as a professional psychologist. She is my first patient and I am already in regret!!! My degree is a waste!

“Let’s get to the point okay. This is my first day as a psychologist and you’re my first patient, so I want this to workout. Whatever it takes”, Abdul confessed. “Easy Avenger! I thought that’s not how you people talk to the people who’re suicidal! Well, you’re not like the others I presume! Let’s get to the point indeed. Shoot your questions. I am not afraid of them or you or anyone else and I am certainly not ashamed of what I did!” Teresa is finally talking!

“Why did you do it?”, not wasting any more time on small talks Smith! “Why does anyone do it? I don’t want to live in this shitty world.” Teresa answered. “Why? Did someone wronged you in anyway?”, Abdul digs more.

“Everyone has wronged everyone. I am not the only one!”, Teresa argued.

“Tell me what you’re thinking and why did you jumped off that bridge. I don’t like to waste time on single sentences.” Desperate times, desperate measures! Smith knows by now, Teresa will only tell him the truth if he’ll talk to her in her own attitude. So be it. She’ll talk, it’ll work.

“Sad, but your time is up. See you back soon?! goodbye.” Teresa leaves for her room. Smith is impressed, how some people with mental health issues are so acceptable of their condition & can still maintain chivalry. Fine. Tomorrow.

“How are you feeling today Smith?” Teresa seems in a good mood to toy around. “No small talk. Remember”? Abdul is not getting smitten today! “Wow! That’s hot!” Teresa would do anything to stall talking.

“Why did you jump off the bridge?” Not wasting time today!

*10 minutes silence*

“Tell me! I may be able to change your mind about it!” Playing doctor-doctor but like a friend.

“I told you, I don’t want to live in this shitty world. A world where humans think themselves as God, where poor are treated as animals & animals are treated as nothing! I hate everyone. They’re selfish and inhumane. All they want to do is to fill their pockets. The crimes they commit are justified with money and with that power they exploit other people.” Teresa said.

“Is that all?” Smith asked.

“What do you mean IS THAT ALL? What is wrong with you? How can you take this so lightly? Rapes, Riots, Robbery, Lynching, Violence, Exploitation, Corruption and what not! And you don’t think that’s enough?” Teresa questioned.

“I am asking, if there’s any personal reason for what you’d done, you sound like a failed activist and not my patient.” Brutally honest doctor, for the brutal thinker sitting with him!

“These are my personal issues. My friend was raped by a guy who got away with the allegations because he had money. His family bribed the authorities incharge and they put charges against my friend, for fraud & defamation. My friend lost her job, her career is finished. Because the company didn’t want someone of her reputation to be working with the PRESTIGIOUS scoundrels!” Teresa confessed.

“Sounds like you felt very deeply for your FRIEND!” Abdul is questioning on her truth!

“I know it sounds like it all happened with me and I am covering up the shame by the name of a friend, but I own everything I do. I’d never run away if it had happened with me.” Teresa cleared out the allegations.

“But why kill YOURSELF?” Doctor is now officially confused!

“I am sick of it. There’s nothing good in this world. All I see is crime and fraud. People dying and people killing. I have a good family and a fulfilling job, but I am not happy with how things are in this world!” Teresa clearing the confusion.

“I am glad you’re not a public speaker, because you can be influential but for all the wrong reasons! You’re the most negative person I’ve ever met! BUT, you’re not wrong!” Abdul is quite agreeing with someone who attempted suicide for no personal reasons at all!

Teresa smiled. For the first time in a long while! Smith smiled surprisingly, seeing Teresa smile assured him, he’s on the right track. All I have to do is, give her a different approach about life and make her see the good in the world. Just like in the movies.